The Red Circle
by Poppinbottlesintheice
Summary: Set sometime between series 3 and 4, then AU although including some series 4 canon events. Mainly from Joey's POV in which he struggles with his family, his responsibilities, and the paternity of Roxy's offspring. A certain DHSS counter clerk both eases and complicates his life. As ever I don't own Bread.
1. Chapter 1

**a/n**

 **Liverpool is still England's most sectarian city, (vast majority of children still educated by faith schools) and the questions of religion, residence and football teams had more resonance in the 80's than (hopefully) now. Back then it wasn't that long since Protestant graffiti had adorned Netherfield Road South. Having said that I did notice a small 12th July Orange Lodge parade last year in Lime Street when I was visiting. Although historically Everton used to be regarded as the Catholic team, the actual clubs themselves tried to downplay any sectarian divide and they now enjoy strong support from both denominations. Similarly Catholics tended to work the North Docks, vote labour and live in and around Scotland Road and the North End, whilst Protestants tended to work the South Docks, vote conservative and live in and around Netherfield Road and the South End.**

 **Chapter 1**

Joey pushed his food round his plate, trying to block out the recurring arguments and rows that were an inevitable part of Boswell family mealtimes. Since his latest bruising encounter with Roxy he felt more battered than he ever remembered feeling before.

He shut his eyes, desperate to ignore the racket going on round him and keep his cool. He felt his mam's hand squeezing his own, he opened his eyes a fraction to find her looking at him with concern.

"Oh luv, are you ok?" Knowing even as she said it that Joey was far from alright.

He managed a small strained smile, "I'll be fine mam, just give it time."

She gave his hand a final squeeze, and withdrew her own, thinking that was Joey all over, never wanting to worry her or share his problems. As if she couldn't tell when he was upset, or when he was bothered. Nellie was sensitive enough towards her eldest to know that apart from his own feelings, he was hating the fact that all the family knew his business. Joey had always been a private person, never letting on anything about himself. He came and went and never said what he was up to, not that where he got his money from was something Nellie wanted to know. She was conscious that once Freddie had left them Joey had managed, in a remarkably short space of time, to buy the houses both they and her father were living in. No matter what Joey thought she wasn't unworldly enough to know he'd done that by legitimate means, and only hoped he wasn't damaging his soul irreparably. Joey had always had plenty of cash knocking about which he'd shared with the family and since leaving school he'd never had anything which could be considered conventional employment. His private life had always been just that, private. He made a point of never confiding anything to his siblings, so for them all to be privy to the spectacular fall out from Roxy must be galling for him.

"Right," Joey got up, his lunch uneaten. "I'm off."

He left abruptly to seek sanctuary in his car.

"What's his problem then?" Billy spluttered.

"He's upset Billy, haven't you got any sense?" Aveline was irritable with her brother.

"No, he hasn't. No sense, no feelings for anyone else." Adrian answered whilst Billy sat staring open mouthed at her.

"Of course I've got feelings, I'm upset with Julie but none of you lot care," Billy shouted thumping the table.

"Yeah, but you're permanently upset about Julie and don't we know it." Jack added his contribution.

"Besides when I said feelings for anyone else I meant empathy. Something you sorely lack." Adrian was at his most patronising.

Billy jumped to his feet. "That's it, use big words that I don't even know the meaning of why don't you?"

"Yes I will. It's not my fault you're a moron." Adrian glanced round at Aveline, who nodded.

"God, we can't ever have a meal in peace can we? I'm off. Adrian you coming?" Jack rose from the table, adding to himself, 'thank God I'm out of here soon.'

"Might as well," replied Adrian giving a haughty glare to Billy now slumped over the table.

"Eh, Jack can you give us a lift into town? Save us getting a bus."

"Course, hurry up though. Me and Adrian are going to an auction."

The three of them left leaving Billy still face down on the table and their mam clearing the dishes around him.

"Should we talk to him?" Jack noticed Joey still in his car.

"No, he'd probably rather not. You know what he's like."

"Ar'ey poor Joey, that Roxy's a cow and I didn't like her anyway."

The three of them waved at Joey, got into Jack's van and jerked off down the road, laughing and joking with each other.

Joey had given a brief acknowledgement and decided to move away before his mam came out to collect grandad's lunch tray. He knew she meant well, but right now he just wanted to be left alone. He accelerated smoothly away, debating where to go. Whilst cruising along, a vibration from his jacket pocket caused him to jump slightly, before reaching in and removing his business phone. "Hello, yes?"

"Can you be here in fifteen minutes for a collection?"

Joey frowned. "What sort of collection?" It was unusual to be offered work for mid afternoon.

"A small one, valuable, dis.."

"Look, I've told you I'm not up for that sort of job anymore."

"I know, but my normal agent is on holiday. So I thought of you, as you always do such a professional job. Naturally I will make it worth your while, five hundred. Just a little pick up and drop off. But I will need you to wear the suitable clothing that awaits you here."

Joey was tempted, he could do with replenishing his savings. By the time he'd sorted out housing for Roxy and the lad, spent weeks helping his dad out until he was back on his feet after his broken leg, he was almost cleaned out. To say nothing of the fact that he was more or less single-handedly keeping the family afloat. He came to a decision.

"Ok then. Usual place?"

On receiving the affirmative he drove to the Rodney Street offices of his contact. As he parked the thought passed through his brain about what a great place it was to hide a criminal enterprise, tucked away amongst the doctors, dentists, accountants and lawyers. He pressed the entry phone and was buzzed in straight away. Joey changed as requested, a cheap suit, shirt and tie along with a hi-vis jacket and pair of steel toe-capped boots.

The distinguished looking, impeccably dressed man facing him smiled and counted out the cash into his hand. Joey raised his eyebrows as the cash mounted up.

"A collection from 63, Westbourne Walk, a Mr Moses, to be delivered back here as soon as possible, please." The quiet, beautifully modulated voice never ceased to fascinate Joey. He wasn't the customary crooked gaffer Joey normally did business with, and they would never have crossed paths if Joey hadn't been introduced to him by Michael. A polite, intelligent, cultured, camp, and yet at the same time, most menacing man Joey had ever met. It was all in his eyes. A man Joey wouldn't ever want to be on the wrong side of, but one he had come to emulate to some degree. Joey had met him in a disreputable club around ten years ago when Michael had been cruising for a bit of rough, and an unlikely friendship had been formed.

He frowned, "I thought The Radcliffe had been demolished."

"Some of it is left Mr Boswell, though I believe it is wholly derelict and awaiting destruction. Please do not forget your clip board and hat."

Joey picked them up and left.

He stopped the car as near as he could, put on his hat, picked up his board, and cut through the maze of vandalised buildings to Westbourne Walk, looking vainly for any house numbers.

"Mr Boswell?" The voice came from one of the stripped out properties.

Joey turned and gave a curt nod, "Mr Moses?"

A middle aged man dressed as a demolition worker, inclined his head and held up a small package, gift wrapped and finished with a golden bow.

Joey raised his eyebrows.

"I assure you, Mr Boswell, this is your collection."

Another posh fella thought Joey, slightly puzzled. He approached and counted the cash in front of him, then completed the traditional exchange. Joey placed the package into his pocket, heavier than he'd anticipated, and zipped it up. The pair left the walkway together.

"An unusual estate Mr Boswell, modelled on a Cornish Fishing Village I believe."

"Er, I think so, yes."

They walked back towards Joey's car, making Joey feel slightly uneasy, normally these transactions were over in an instant, both parties going their separate ways as quickly as possible.

The man stopped, "Yes, highly unusual. And very short lived. One wonders quite what the architects and planners were thinking. No sea and no fish." He waved his arm around indicating the skyline, then shook his head. "Do give my love to Alastair."

He smiled and held his hand out, Joey shook it, and got into his car. Glancing in the mirror he noted the man returning through the estate the way they had come.

The mystery of the clothing was solved anyway. To a casual onlooker, or bizzie they would have appeared to be a part of the mass of workers involved in remodelling Everton yet again, not worth a second glance.

He parked a few streets away and made his way back to the office on foot, not a good idea for his distinctive car to be parked outside too often.

He was buzzed in and handed his package over.

"Oh, and Mr Moses asked me to give his love to Alastair, I assume that's you."

"Indeed, sweet of him." He smiled, holding the package up almost reverently. "Mr Boswell, when you have changed I have a proposition for you along with your remuneration."

Joey nodded, slightly intrigued, and was soon back in front of the man he knew as Mr Grainger.

"Mr Boswell." He passed the £500 over, still in the unopened bank packaging. Although Joey didn't really approve of his business, he paid well, promptly, and without any quibbling.

"I need to move this product on quickly and as I said Michael is on holiday. I need, therefore, an honourable, discreet, reliable man, and I believe you are that man, Mr Boswell. Brandy?"

"A small one, thank you." Joey took the proffered drink.

So, Mr Boswell, I am willing to offer you twenty five percent of the mark up for each delivery made. I estimate, conservatively, the total profit will be around five times the original outlay."

Joey made a rapid calculation, and made his mind up, sod the morality.

"Done." He finished his drink.

"You will not regret it Mr Boswell. The deliveries will all be in the redevelopment area, in the guise undertaken today, so you may wish to take the costume and props with you. Good day Mr Boswell, I will be in touch."

Joey left the building, a mere two hours after he'd set off from home and five hundred pounds up. He drove back to Kelsall Street, the gear in the boot, far more upbeat than he'd been when he'd set out.

* * *

Another meal, another argument around the Boswell table. Joey sighed. "Couldn't we just have a meal sometimes without a row."

Adrian and Aveline stopped dead, they always did when Joey spoke in that particular tone, but Billy carried on as usual until a "Bill-y," from Joey pulled him up short.

"Right, I want you all to go about your business, so I can go about mine." Nellie was keen to get dinner over with as soon as possible.

Apart from Joey the family did as they were told and left the table.

"You out again this afternoon Joey?"

"Not yet, mam, not yet."

"Well take your coffee into the parlour then."

Joey removed himself and sat down, resting his head back and his feet on the coffee table. It had been an odd three days. He'd made four deliveries each day, twelve packages identical to the original but lighter, gift wrapped, to twelve different 'demolition workers' none of whom were the usual movers and shakers on the Merseyside underworld scene. Joey wondered if there was some sort a of gay mafia operating across the north-west, a parallel universe to the one he typically dipped into. True to his word Alastair Grainger had paid Joey the agreed percentage each day, and as it had proved twice as profitable as originally predicted, both men were highly satisfied.

But thought Joey, the most remarkable thing about it all, even more than the statement that had nearly caused him to spit out the fine cognac he was drinking to celebrate the successful conclusion of this courier service, was a chance, or rather a series of chance meetings.

Recalling the outcome, the whole scenario replayed itself in Joey's mind yet again.

 _"Pardon me for asking Mr Boswell, but were you ever in a relationship with Michael?"_

 _"Er, no. Not that he doesn't try it on every so often." Temporarily lost for words Joey recovered quickly._

 _"Does it offend you?"_

 _"No, I mean it's not my thing, but it's quite flattering isn't it, if some-one fancies you?" He sipped his drink, and smiled. "Let's face it though Michael would proposition any male with a pulse."_

 _"Very forward thinking Mr Boswell. Many straight men get mortally offended at the slight to their manhood."_

 _Joey had just shrugged. "Doesn't bother me, I count Michael as a friend. I'm not fussed about who he sleeps with."_

 _"You've made quite a hit the last few days Mr Boswell, so if you did ever decide to expand your life experiences you won't be short of offers."_

 _This time Joey very nearly spat out the mouthful he had just taken._

 _Fortunately at this moment the desk phone went. "Thank you."_

 _Alastair Grainger turned to Joey, "I'm afraid we will have to terminate here Mr Boswell, my 2.30 appointment has arrived."_

 _He smiled at Joey's look. "The plaque outside is genuine Mr Boswell, and I do see patients. Thank you so very much for your services."_

Joey shook his head, the whole conversation had been quite surreal. But what had followed on had been even more unexpected.

 _Leaving a bank later that afternoon, after depositing the last of his cash into one of his alternative accounts, Joey was walking back to his car smiling to himself at nothing in particular, when he recognised Martina from the DHSS walking straight towards him._

 _She shook her head, "I don't believe it Mr Boswell, this is the third day running. Are you deliberately trying to wind me up?"_

 _"No, I'm not. You sure this is not part of your 'I'm out to get you Mr. Boswell' then?"_

 _They both grinned at each other. Yesterday Joey had been getting into his car, which he'd parked in Canning Street, when Martina had come out of one of the nearby houses._

 _"What are you doing?" Joey had asked somewhat rudely._

 _"I live here Mr Boswell, what's your excuse?"_

 _"Dentist." Joey said the first thing that came to mind._

 _She nodded and continued on her way and Joey had driven off. That was twice now she'd caught him at the end of his shift. On Tuesday evening he'd been in The Old Stingo to complete his final drop for the day, when he'd spotted her having a drink with a much older man. It had unnerved him so much, he'd nearly missed his cue._

 _"So Miss Martina, out of your life-proof plastic box for the day. How about joining me for a drink?"_

 _"Sorry?"_

 _"A drink, an alcoholic, or if you prefer, a non alcoholic beverage, available from the hostelry of you choice."_

 _"That's what I thought you said. You are kidding Mr Boswell?"_

 _Joey looked at her steadily._

 _"Oh God, you're not kidding." She had a mildly alarmed expression on her face, which made Joey want to laugh out loud._

 _"Correct, Miss Martina."_

 _"Why?"_

 _"Why not?" countered Joey. "Martina, I'm offering you a drink not a trip up the aisle. It's obvious that the fates have decreed we should meet this week, so who are we to deny them?"_

 _"Spouting poetically again Mr Boswell? I hope you mean Clotho rather than Atropos. Alright I'll join you for a drink, give me a chance to find out what you were up to the other night."_

 _"You have me there I'm afraid sunshine, I didn't benefit from a classical education. Any preferences?"_

 _"How do you feel about The Villiers?"_

 _"Fine by me sweetheart."_

 _They turned as one for the short walk to the pub, just managing to find a table in the busy city centre pub._

 _"So what were you doing with," he paused, "yourself on Tuesday night?" He had been going to say out with a man old enough to be your father, but thought better of it._

 _"Having a drink with me dad. I'd called round to see me parents, but me dad had already gone to the pub, so when I left I popped in to catch up with him." She took a sip. "But more to the point what were you doing in there? It's not your neck of the woods Mr Boswell."_

 _"Job interview." Joey replied, inexplicably cheered that she hadn't been with a boyfriend, not that it was any of his business._

 _Her eyes widened, "Does this mean you won't be requiring me services any more?"_

 _"Sadly unsuccessful," Joey gestured resignation with his hands and eyes._

 _"I might have known," she laughed._

 _"So you're a Netherfield Roader then. Are you an Orangeman, women, person, Orangeperson then?"_

 _"What, with a name like Delaney?" Martina couldn't help laughing again. "And not a Netherfield Roader either, Scottie Road. But you know in the sixties clearances things got more mixed, me parents had the choice between Ellison Tower or Kirkby. So they went for Ellison, eleventh floor mind."_

 _Joey grinned, "Good view though. Red or blue?"_

 _"One way's not bad, the other's straight into Edinburgh Tower, and it's a pig when the lifts are out. Black and white."_

 _"The Wirral Woolies? Oh, Martina!"_

 _"No, not really. I hate football and it used to wind me family up." She was smiling now._

 _"Right, what do you want Mr Boswell? I'm sure you didn't bring me here to discuss me parents living arrangements, football team, or religious affiliation." She was back in DHSS mode._

 _"No, course not sweetheart, just making conversation. I don't have any hidden reason except, well we've met unexpectedly three days in a row and fate is obviously trying to tell us something, do you not think?"_

 _"No, Mr Boswell, I don't think it's anything more than a run of coincidences." She rolled her eyes and shrugged. "Anyway, I need to be off shortly, can I get you a drink before I go?"_

 _"No thanks, I'm driving, and Martina I'm heading home so I'll drop you."_

 _Joey assumed she'd refuse a lift, so he was pleasantly surprised when she thanked him and accepted._

 _He'd enjoyed the drive back to Martina's, away from Steers House she really was very easy to talk to. When they'd stopped he turned to her, "Martina, could we go for a proper drink tomorrow evening. It's Friday so there'll be no rush for work next day. And, and there is something I'd like to ask you."_

 _"Oh God, I didn't see that one coming." Martina looked irritated beyond measure._

 _"Look, it's nothing, nothing dubious, and it's nothing to do with the DHSS," he was quick to assure her. "It's more about how I present meself. I'd appreciate your take on things because I know you'd be honest."_

 _Martina looked at him quizzically. "Can't you talk to that united family of yours Mr Boswell?"_

 _He shook his head. "No, I can't at the best of times, but definitely not about this."_

 _She considered, Joey dropped his eyes, "ok then, Mr Boswell. I'll meet you at The Villiers, 8pm."_

 _He smiled gratefully, blew her a kiss through the window, and pulled away._

And now it was tomorrow and he was meeting her this evening.

"Joey luv, are you alright?" His mam hove into view.

"Don't sweat about me mam, I'm fine, just had a few busy days." He sat up, smiled at her and rubbed her arm gently. "Oh mam, I'm out for dinner tonight."

"Joey," Nellie drew herself up, "you're not out with that Roxy again are you?" Her lips were pursed.

"No mam, not Roxy." He shook his head and smiled at her indignation. "Someone else, just a friend, nothing more."

He lay back. "I told you mam, don't sweat on me, I'm ok."


	2. Chapter 2

**a/n**

 **I'm indebted to a colleague, who is a contemporary of Martina's, for the information with regard to the pregnancy tests available in 1987/88. I've always wondered why the Boswells, and Joey in particular, didn't seem to entertain the notion that the child might be his. If a woman I'd been in a relationship with appeared with a child of an appropriate age, it's the first thing I'd think of!**

Joey finished his meal, glanced at his watch and asked for the bill. In about half an hour he was due to meet Martina and he was extremely nervous. Heaven knows why, it's not like it was a date, and after all, he never had any difficulties talking to her at the DHSS. He paid up and wandered off down to The Villiers. He spotted Martina coming along the street and waited for her, so they could enter together.

"My round Mr Boswell, what would you like?" Martina was firm.

"A vodka and tonic please Miss Delaney." Joey couldn't resist using her surname, now he knew it, in mockery of her insistence in using his.

She rolled her eyes, and ordered. They took their drinks to a corner seat.

"Right then Mr Boswell, what's this question you want to ask me?" Martina was brusque.

Joey decided to come straight out with it. "Right, yes, well Martina, do you think I come over as gay?"

Martina was surprised at his question. She'd amused herself since yesterday trying to work out what it might be he wanted her honest opinion on, but this hadn't entered into her mind at all. She managed not to smirk and said, frowning lightly, "I wouldn't have necessarily said so, Mr Boswell."

Joey nodded thoughtfully. Since Alastair Grainger's question about an affair with Michael, and comments about him making a hit he'd wondered if he had overdone his image. He'd always liked to keep people guessing, part of the Joey Boswell enigma, but he didn't want to take it too far.

"Is this the prelude to coming out?" Martina spoke gently, not wanting to make things any more awkward for him if it was.

"No, it's just an assumption a lot of people seem to make."

"Do they?" Actually Martina wasn't being strictly true here, more than one person at the DHSS had mooted the theory that Joey Boswell was in fact gay. Despite her reputation for honesty, she felt that it wasn't something he needed to know right now.

His eyes were looking straight into hers, "And what about you?"

She laughed, "So, apart from wanting to know where I'm from, me football team, and me religion, you now want to ask about me sexuality? I haven't met a woman yet who's attracted me in that way, Mr Boswell. But.."

"Martina I wasn't prying, I meant what do you think about me."

"Lying, cheating, up to no good, how long do you want me to go on for?" She smiled mischievously, putting her hand on his arm to stop him responding, then continued in a softer, kinder tone, "I haven't, in all honesty, thought about your sexuality Mr Boswell. It's not particularly obvious one way or the other."

Joey sighed, this wasn't exactly what he wanted to hear. "Thanks Martina, I appreciate that."

"Does it really matter what people think Mr Boswell?"

"It shouldn't do, should it? I don't know why it's got to me. I was taken aback at a question, but more than that, I mean some one I've wor... er, known, known, thought it was the sort of thing I'd be doing, and so must have assumed, even though," he stopped. " I'm not making sense am I?"

She shook her head, "No, you're not."

"Years ago in a club I met someone who is gay, and a bit older than me, who tried it on. I said thanks, but no thanks, not my scene, but we became friends anyway. Then on Thursday some one who knows us both asked if I'd ever been in a relationship with him. I mean where'd that come from?"

"Lazy thinking, that's where. You know, all dogs have four legs, my cat has four legs, therefore my cat is a dog, type of thing."

"And then I've been in the company of some people this week, and not dressed in me leathers, and I get told I've made quite a hit, and if I ever fancy, what was it, oh yeah widening me experiences, I won't be short of offers."

Joey sounded het up to Martina, totally unlike himself. She looked at him carefully for a few minutes, and resisted the urge to make the obvious sarcastic comments that were dancing round her brain.

"Mr Boswell. Joey," she hesitated. Using his first name felt so wrong. "Er, sorry that's a bit presumptuous."

"No, please it's fine, actually I'd prefer it if you did call me Joey, out of hours, I know you can't at work." Joey managed a tiny smile.

"Yes, where was I? Look it seems to me, and I'm only guessing mind, that this isn't really what's getting to you, but there's something else you're bothered about, and you've transferred all your grief into this, which normally you'd just laugh off."

She twiddled her empty glass round, looking intently at it.

Joey gasped, suddenly it all made sense. It was all about bloody Roxy and, no he wasn't going to think about that now, the thing that had been keeping him awake and gnawing away at his insides."

He looked over at Martina and noticed her empty glass, "Same again?"

"Please." Martina wasn't sure if she'd hit a raw nerve and kept focused on her glass.

"Here you are." Joey sat back down with a fresh round of drinks.

"I suppose I am doing what you said," he admitted, a touch reluctantly. "I don't know how you picked it up though."

She gave a wry smile, "I've been at the DHSS since I was nineteen, I can spot a mile off when people are stressing about something to avoid dealing with the real issues."

Joey sighed again, "it's me girlfriend, ex-girlfriend I mean. What?" He hadn't missed the knowing smile.

"Sorry."

"Martina, that smile. I've just confirmed something in your mind. Do you think you could let me in on what it is?"

Much as she was tempted to make a cutting comment Martina merely shrugged, "I just think it's illuminating that you said girlfriend, then corrected yourself. She finished with you then?"

"If only it were that simple."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"It's quite er, complicated, you up for that?"

"I don't mind." In reality she was intrigued.

"Right well," he took a drink before plunging in and telling her the tragic saga of Roxy Hartwell and Joey Boswell.

"So that about brings it up to date." Joey finished speaking and downed the rest of his drink.

Martina nodded, then indicated his empty glass with a raise of her eyebrows.

"Thanks," he responded.

She went to the bar, mulling over the tale she had just heard. Strange really, she wouldn't have had Joey Boswell down for a doormat, but then perhaps he got fed up of always being the strong one and keeping his family together, and liked or needed, a relationship where someone else was in charge.

Martina put the fresh drinks down. "Yeah, but what is it that's actually bothering you Joey?"

For the second time in as many days Joey nearly spat out the drink he'd just taken.

"How the f, er, sorry, sorry, how the hell do you know that?" Joey was gobsmacked.

"I told you, ten years at the DHSS. If it were an Olympic Sport I'd get the gold, no contest," she countered.

"It's the lad, I don't know if he's mine. I know the one she's expecting isn't, though I suppose, depending on how far gone she is, it could be. Oh God, what a mess." He looked stricken. "How quickly do you know when you're pregnant?"

"You can do a home test after two weeks."

"But the lad, well, I didn't get to ask how old he is, but if she was pregnant when she left he could be. And I'll have not been there for him." Joey stopped abruptly, close to tears.

Martina sent him a sympathetic look, "Yeah, it's a tough one."

"And I just don't know what to do."

"Wouldn't she have told you? From what you've been saying it sounds like it would have been a perfect card for her to hold."

"Yeah, it doesn't make sense, unless, unless, she was pregnant when she left and it wasn't mine. She's been in and out of me life a lot the past few years. But on the other hand he might well be, and she might have not said anything because she wanted to get back at me."

"I'm not sure what to suggest, except, and I know it'd be a big thing, to talk to her and find out."

"Yeah, I guess that's the only way to go." Not that Joey had the stomach at the moment for any sort of encounter with Roxy, particularly as he knew that he hadn't handled their final meeting well. "But I sort of, well I couldn't talk to her, the last time we were together. She kept trying to and I wouldn't answer." He frowned. "Then I just left without even saying goodbye."

"Fairly typical male way to carry on Joey. I'm sure she's come across it before. I've never met a man yet who could discuss a relationship problem with any degree of maturity. It's either the silent treatment, the self pity, or the fists come out."

"Hmm, maybe." He was pensive, Martina was very perceptive if a little cynical. He looked at her with a faint smile. "You've forgotten the walking away."

She smiled back. "Your speciality?"

"Along with the silences, and the self pity." He had a woebegone expression. It was all a bit immature come to think of it. He'd let the perfect opportunity to try and get some answers go. Knowing Roxy he doubted if he'd ever get the chance again to tackle her when she was vulnerable enough to tell him the truth. And there was the rub, even if he did pluck up the courage to face her, he had no guarantee she'd be truthful. Deception and deceit were second nature to her, and although Joey knew this, knew she was manipulative and scheming, deep down he still loved her. He didn't like her behaviour or the way she treated him, but he couldn't stop loving her, she was in his guts.

Joey looked up to find Martina gazing at him, with an expression he couldn't quite fathom. Time to change the tone of the evening he thought, Martina's look being far too penetrating for his liking. He leant across the table and kissed her cheek.

"Thank you so much, for listening and for being here." He got up to go to the bar.

"Right, here you are." He passed her glass.

"Thanks Joey." It still didn't feel quite right using his first name.

He settled himself back, "What made you move from the North End into L8, it's not an obvious move, if you don't mind me asking?"

"No, I don't mind you asking. As a matter of fact I'd already moved out of home, then in September 81, I had the chance to buy the flat in Canning Street for next to nothing. It had a bit of smoke damage, and a couple of broken windows, but nothing structural, so I jumped at the chance."

"Isn't it a bit dodgy?"

"It doesn't bother me. They're lovely houses, but I have had some odd looks when I've given me address, and it can be hard to get things delivered. Other than that it's fine, I couldn't have afforded a similar place anywhere else."

"I guess it's the right side of Parly."

"Yeah, I'm not sure I'd move to the other side to be honest."

"Do you know The Radcliffe Estate?"

She sniggered, "I had friends from school who lived there, must have been the shortest lived estate ever. It wasn't built till about '75, '76 and it's coming down now. It's been emptied out over the past year or so, I think it only had people living in for around ten years. Even The Piggeries were up for twenty."

Martina got up to make her way to the bar, "What bought that up?"

"I drove by there the other day and noticed it."

As she set the drinks down she continued, "It was supposed to remedy the past mistakes, you know built of brick, low rise, a community feel."

"Modelled on a Cornish fishing village?"

"Allegedly. I mean what were they on? As if you could transpose a village that's grown up over time to a new estate in bloody Everton. And it was mad there, gloomy passages, blind corners, a complete warren. Even people living there got lost in it. A mugger's paradise it turned into."

The last orders bell went, Joey jumped up to get a final round in.

"This is due to go soon," Martina informed him when he get back.

"What is?"

"This pub, as part of the Clayton Square development."

"Is the whole street going?"

"Pretty much, I think. It's disconcerting isn't it? It feels like we're living in a constant state of flux."

"Shame, I like it in here. I've been lucky, we've not had the clearings on our little bit of town. The other side of Cockburn Street's down, the Mount's going, and there's tinnies everywhere. Surprising given how small the houses are. When we had the bathroom put in, they took it from our Aveline's room, and it wasn't big to start with, it's like a cupboard now."

Martina raised her eyebrows.

"Me sister," explained Joey noticing her look.

"I've not met her. At least one of you earns your own living then," commented Martina.

They fell to reminiscing about their childhood experiences until the stark "Time gentleman please," was called out.

"I'll order a cab," Joey took out his phone.

Martina reached over, "You won't get a cab to take me to Canning Street, I'll need to ring, I've got an account."

Joey surrendered his phone to her. "Another drawback?"

She shrugged, "Easy to get round. Oh hi, it's Martina Delaney, can I have a cab from the Villiers to home, and then to go onto Kelsall Street? Yeah, that's it. Thanks." She turned to Joey, "On it's way, be a couple of minutes."

They finished up their drinks. Fifteen minutes later the cab was drawing up outside Martina's flat. She made to get out, "Night Joey," and gave him a fleeting kiss, barely brushing the skin on his cheek.

"Night sweetheart, and thanks for this evening."

Joey stared out of the cab window deep in thought. From the moment he'd first set eyes on the lad, sitting bewildered in his pushchair in front of number 30, he'd been tormented by the thought that the boy might be his. Somehow it seemed as though actually being able to give voice to his fears, and having them acknowledged, had made him feel a little easier. He sent a silent prayer of thanks that Martina, with her down to earth, no nonsense approach had, in the end, agreed to meet him tonight.


	3. Chapter 3

**a/n**

 **Joey tries to get some resolution to his problems and keep his family solvent and out of his business.**

"Joey, you in for tea?" Nellie came into the parlour from the kitchen.

"I am mam, yes." Joey looked up from his newspaper.

Nellie began to smile. "And are you out tonight?"

"No mam, not tonight."

Nellies smile widened. "It'll be good to have you around this evening son." She gripped his shoulder briefly before retreating to the kitchen.

The front door crashed back on his hinges, only one person does that thought Joey, as Billy rocketed through the door.

"Any tea on mam? I'm starving."

"Don't you think you should have tea across the road with your wife, Billy?" Joey asked.

"No, her cooking's rubbish in comparison to me mam's."

Joey raised his eyebrows.

"Billy, I won't like it if my husband compares my cooking to his mam's and goes off home for his tea every night." Aveline had come into the house and heard Billy's remark.

"But it is though. Mam bought us up to tell the truth, and that's what I'm doing."

"Sometimes Billy, you have to use tact and diplomacy in this world." Joey felt he ought to say something to his youngest brother about his thoughtlessness.

"You're wasting your time Joey trying to talk to Billy about using tact and diplomacy." Adrian had followed Aveline in. "Is tea ready mam? I'm starving."

"Won't be long now luv, and was that our Aveline I heard?" Nellie called back.

"It was mam, and guess what? Mr Andre's got me a shoot for a listings mag."

"Oh, that's good luv. Come through and tell me all about it."

It hit Joey that Billy had no experience of a father who was around all the time. By the time he'd been born their dad had been playing about with Lilo Lil and had stopped being a continuing presence in their lives.

He had one more go. "Well Billy, don't you think you should be over there for Francesca? She needs both her parents."

"I am over there, just not all the time." Billy genuinely could not see what Joey was getting at.

Joey gave up, and shook his head, just as Jack came in.

"Tea."

They headed into the kitchen together and sat down, Joey smiling to himself. This was what he loved, his family around him, sitting at the table, eating together, laughing together. Though he still felt Billy should be with his wife and baby. Not that he could talk. If Roxy's child was his, he'd have been there for him less than either his dad or Billy had been for their kids. He wondered again if Stan had accepted him, knowing he wasn't his. Had he just been devastated the day he'd left him in his pushchair in Kelsall Street or had he always been like that towards him? Did Stan suspect or even know who his father was? The warm feeling he'd felt a few minutes ago had evaporated to be replaced by the familiar heavy pressure on his shoulders, dragging him down. And the anger. He couldn't shake off the anger either, it kept bubbling up inside him. He didn't understand why. The last thing he wanted to feel was anger towards the mother of his child, if that's what she was. His stomach felt like a lump of lead had settled in it. Another meal he wouldn't be eating

Nellie sighed deeply and shook her head as she came to clear Joey's plate, realising immediately that the food had been rearranged not eaten. She wandered into the parlour where Joey sat watching Ever Decreasing Circles with the others. Nellie could see his eyes weren't on the screen but unfocused, his mind no doubt fixed on his personal demons. She pursed her lips and returned to the kitchen.

"Joey, you awake?" Adrian didn't really need to ask, night after night he'd been aware that Joey was laying there staring into the darkness, or moving restlessly in his bed.

"Yes." Joey whispered, keen not to wake Jack and Billy. Though actually they were both such sound sleepers he could probably have shouted back to Adrian without waking them.

"Can't sleep?" Adrian grimaced. That was such a lame question to ask.

"No." Joey was abrupt.

Determined not to be put off, in spite of his brother's tone, Adrian had another go. "Are you worried about anything?"

"No."

"Oh," Adrian knew he was lying, and thought he had an idea about what, so he had one last try. "If you do ever need to talk you know I'm here."

"Thanks, but I'm fine. I just find it difficult some times to get into a regular pattern, you know being out some nights, not others." Joey came up with a plausible reason for being awake.

He turned over away from Adrian. It was thoughtful of him though. He always meant well, but Joey knew that talking to Adrian about Roxy would inevitably lead straight back to Carmen, and Joey just wasn't in the right place to deal with all that. He could barely hold himself together at the moment, let alone support anyone else.

Night after night the same questions had been chasing themselves through Joey's overwrought brain, and tonight was no exception. Swirling round and round, 'Was the lad his?' 'What about the one she was expecting?' 'How had Stan treated the lad?' 'Had he laid hands on him?' After all he had assaulted Roxy. Rage always overtook Joey at this point, the idea of a grown man hitting a woman or child. Unconsciously, once again, he clenched his fists.

These thoughts and more were torturing Joey constantly. The obvious way to lay them to rest was to talk to Roxy, but... He shook his head and frowned. She'd always been able to manipulate him into doing exactly what she wanted, so how was he going to handle her any differently this time. After all, how far had she planned to let things go before she told him about the lad and her pregnancy? Or had she been prepared to abandon the boy? Martina was right, he had to find the courage to face her and find out just what the hell she thought she was playing at.

He resolved to go round tomorrow evening, no must be today by now. This evening then, he'd go round this evening. He finally fell into a fitful sleep.

He pulled up outside the place he had found for Roxy, and knocked on the door. He'd paid the rent in advance for six months, so she'd have no need to worry for a while.

A young woman answered the door. "Yes?"

Which threw Joey completely. "Oh, er, is Roxy in please?"

She frowned. "Who?"

"Roxy. She was living here with her son."

"Hang on." She called back into the house. "Mam."

A middle-aged women appeared. "Yes luv?"

"I was looking for Roxy, she was living here."

"I don't know anyone by that name luv, but we've only been here a few weeks ourselves." She thought for a moment. "I can knock opposite if you like?"

He nodded.

She rang the bell, and spoke to the woman who answered and they both came back over the landing.

"She wasn't here long when she went back to her husband. Good thing really, she was expecting and had a little lad. I hope they managed to patch things up. It's sad isn't it when kiddies are caught in a break up?" The woman looked quizzically at Joey.

"Yes, yes it is. Thank you. I'll be off now." Joey could barely get his words out.

Agitated, he went downstairs, got back in his car and drove round the corner. He pulled over and switched the engine off, needing to clear his head before he went any further. Joey stared unseeing out of the windscreen. He couldn't believe that Roxy had gone back to Stan. After all that had happened. The way he'd been knocking her about. Everything she'd said about not loving him. She was working and with her housing costs met for a bit, surely she could have managed on her own. Work, of course, he'd ring there in the morning. Perhaps phone contact was better. He hoped he could harden his heart and not get tangled up in her web again. Trouble was he knew his own weaknesses, the honeyed tones, the liquid eyes, the chance to be with her. Regardless of everything that had happened, the merest suggestion of intimacy would send him careering towards her. Perhaps that was just what he needed right now, that and perhaps a job or three. He came to a decision and picked up his phone.

"Mam? Count me out for tea, I've got a job on. Yeah, just come up. Be back later."

He started up, and made his way to one of the spielers that operated in the derelict Ropewalks area of the city. Joey was confident he could meet both his requirements there.

A few hours later he pulled up outside home, with a job lined up for tomorrow night, two for next week, including MC at a big auction on Friday, which was always a big payer, 100 quid he'd won off Yizzel in his pocket, thanks to Freddie Joey knew his way around the poker table, and he'd picked up a vacant, but nice looking girl with her own place at Allerton.

"Evening all," he swaggered in and placed £50 in the pot. He filled the kettle. "Tea anyone?"

* * *

Breakfast over, the kitchen began to empty out. Joey glanced at his watch. Right, he needed to stop prevaricating and make that phone call. He got up, kissed his mam goodbye, drove off down to Toccy Dock and parked up on one of the abandoned quays. Joey took out his phone and dialled quickly before he lost his nerve, but the voice that answered wasn't Roxy's.

"Could I speak to Roxy please?"

"Sorry, she's no longer working here. Can I help you?"

"No thanks." Joey put the phone down.

The last hope that he could talk to her and get some answers was gone. Joey thought back to the day Stan dumped the lad at Kelsall Street 'I don't suppose she told you about him, or the one she's expecting, and neither of them mine.'

Why did he think the one she was expecting wasn't his? Would Roxy have started up again with him if she'd been pregnant already? Actually, knowing Roxy the way he did, Joey had to admit to himself that anything was possible.

Oh God, was he responsible for both her children and how the hell was he ever going to find out now?


	4. Chapter 4

**a/n**

 **Exasperated with his family, Joey pays a home visit to Martina with an unexpected result.**

 **I've consistently sited Martina's family in the North End of the city, because that's where the majority of tower blocks were built. At the time the series was made there were about 26 blocks in a smallish area, along with a couple of walk ups and the Radcliffe Estate. In contrast Toxteth had a few isolated blocks and Dingle, where Kelsall Street was set, had none. In my hc she's feisty enough to move into the 'Northern Georgian' area and not be bothered by its reputation, or that it was an area of poor housing, high crime - the garage where Adrian and Eddie were taken to was there, and a red light district.**

CHAPTER FOUR

Joey woke up with a start, heart thumping.

"As if my life weren't falling apart as it is, I have this to put up with. Hanging by a thread, hanging by a thread I am."

"Well, hang by it quietly will you? Some of us are trying to sleep." Jack growled out.

'I'd like to see you sleep when that little, little animal has done to you what he's done to me."

Joey sighed, stuck his head between the pillows and pulled the quilt up round him, vainly trying to get some more sleep, whilst Jack and Adrian traded words. He'd only got in at six and had been hoping, given that it was a Saturday, for a few more hours sleep. The slamming of the front door so hard that their beds vibrated cut short the row, and caused Joey to bite a pillow in annoyance.

Jack bolted out of bed and thundered downstairs, "Right you little gremlin, I've had enough."

Sounds of a scuffle could be heard, "Jack, stop it!" Nellie screeched. Then, "Joey, Joey, oh Joey, luv."

Stifling the curse that was trying to escape his lips, Joey got up, pulled on his clothes and made for the parlour. Jack had Billy in a chokehold with his feet off the floor.

"Cut it you two, just cut it. Jack let him go." Joey prised Jack's hands away and Billy fell to the floor, red in the face and gasping for air.

Jack pushed past Joey and stomped upstairs.

"Get up Billy, stop the dying swan act." Joey wasn't in the mood to be dishing out sympathy.

"I've had it I have. I've had it." Billy made no attempt to move.

Joey raised his eyebrows as Jack and Adrian came downstairs still arguing, Jack now fully dressed.

"Breakfast," trilled Nellie.

Obediently Joey and Adrian took their seats and Billy dragged himself off the floor, but Jack walked straight out of the front door, shutting it with a slam.

"Oh Jack luv, what about your breakfast?" Nellie addressed the closed door.

Joey scowled, he could feel the tension building behind his eyes, a headache coming on.

"When you've finished sobbing into your breakfast, I'd like a word about my bed." Adrian was being particularly priggish.

Billy jumped to his feet, "You're heartless, you are, I'm a broken man and all you can do is talk about your bed. I'm going to Julie's, I am." He stomped off.

"God, he's had enough, what about the rest of us? It's a good job we don't all storm out every few minutes." Adrian began to demolish his breakfast.

Aveline came down, dressed ready to go out, "Honestly, it's getting harder and harder to get any peace in this house, all the noise you lot were making."

"Do you want your breakfast our Aveline?" Nellie started to get up.

"No ta mam, I've got a modelling job. Tarra, see you later."

"Have you got your whistle?" Nellie always liked to check.

Aveline raised her eyebrows, pouted, waved her whistle, and waggled out.

Joey poured himself another coffee, gulped it down, and picked up grandad's tray, "I'll take this shall I?"

"Joey, you not eating either?"

"No mam, not at the minute, I haven't had much sleep."

Joey came back smiling, "Napkins are for poofs," he quoted throwing grandad's down on the table.

"Thanks luv." Nellie gave her eldest a smile, "Ready for breakfast now?"

Although Joey just wanted to sleep, he knew if he didn't eat his breakfast, his mam would fuss round him for ages, so he nodded. The minute he sat back down, his mushrooms on toast were in front of him, along with a fresh coffee.

"Thanks mam."

Joey wondered what his chances were of getting his grandad to let him sleep in one of his spare rooms. Slim to none probably, still might be worth a try. No, he wouldn't be able to block out the latest argument that had broken out between Billy and Julie and had spilled over into the street, and which could be heard even from the kitchen.

"Is everything alright Joey? Only," his mam began hesitantly, noticing that Joey was still wearing last night's clothes and hadn't shaved or done his hair.

"Fine, yes, just tired. I'm going back up when I've finished."

She nodded.

Billy burst in, shouted, "I'm going to bed," and stormed upstairs, crashing the door shut.

Joey who felt he'd just about had enough already this morning, got up, collected his jacket, and left with a "See you later mam, I've a few bits to sort."

Really he ought to do something about getting a place of his own. He didn't need to live in it all the time, just somewhere to escape to now and then, when he needed a break from the family. It was ridiculous to still be sharing a room at his age and to have no privacy whatsoever. No wonder his personal life was such a mess.

He'd driven aimlessly round and was surprised to find himself in Canning Street. Did he dare knock on Martina's door? After all, it'd been a month since she'd suggested he speak to Roxy, and he felt he would like to let her know what happened last week, and see if she had any other ideas. He tried his hardest to ignore the subversive thought that kept pinging into his mind. The one where he actually wanted to spend time with her. Naturally he'd seen her at the DHSS plenty of times, but things had been formal, all 'Haven't you found any work yet Mr Boswell? Fill that in, I see and next.' Martina had given no indication whatsoever that she'd shared any social time with him at all.

Now he was at the front door, he was faced with four doorbells labelled 1, 2, 3, 4, and no idea which was hers. He stepped back and looked up, the top floor looked empty, and the basement appeared to have a bedspread pinned to the window. Perhaps either 2 or 3 then. He noticed the first floor had a window open and the sound of reggae blasting out, so maybe ground floor. He rang number 2. A deep, decidedly male voice answered. Joey was taken aback, he hadn't considered that she might have a partner, "Oh, er, greetings. Is a Miss Delaney there please?"

"Upstairs, pal."

Joey heaved a sigh of relief, and rang flat 3.

"Hello?"

"Morning Martina, it's Joey."

The door buzzed and Joey went in, up the stairs, and stopped outside the flat door. He knocked, it opened, and he did a double take. He wasn't sure what he was expecting, but seeing Martina with her hair pulled back into a ponytail, no make up, barefoot, and wearing jeans and a t-shirt put him on his back foot. Rationally it wasn't even 10 o'clock and not a work day, so why he was expecting her to look as normal he didn't know. He was lucky she was even up.

"Morning Joey, what can I do for you?"

He smiled charmingly, "A coffee would be most welcome."

Accompanied by a roll of her eyes she indicated for him to go to through. Nice room thought Joey, all traces of riot damage obliterated. Music was a bit loud though. He sat down, fighting the urge to lay down and drift off to sleep.

"Milk and sugar?"

"Milk, no sugar thanks."

"Here you are." Martina was in front of him holding out a mug.

"Thanks." Joey was distracted by the realisation that she was wearing just a t-shirt. "Er, have I interrupted you doing anything?"

"No, I've just got some painting to do. I'm looking for an excuse to delay starting anyway," she smiled.

"Oh, which room are you doing?"

"One upstairs, I'm expanding."

"Expanding?" Joey frowned.

"Yeah."

Joey was intrigued, but she didn't seem inclined to explain herself.

"Right I won't intrude, I was just gonna thank you for your help and say that I did go to see Roxy, but she's moved back in with her husband. I tried to call her at work but she's left there. So, I can't speak to her now. I mean I can't just turn up at her house, imagine the scene that would cause with Stan."

Martina noted how distraught he sounded. "Haven't you got a friend or family member who could mediate for you?"

"Not really."

"One of your shady acquaintances then. They might have ways of finding out what you need to know."

"Michael." Joey spoke more to himself than Martina. "He might, or if he hasn't, he moves in the kind of circles that probably would. Why didn't I think of that?"

He turned to her, "You're a genius, Martina."

He finished his coffee, blinking furiously, trying to keep his eyes open.

Martina frowned. "Are you alright Joey?"

"Yeah, I'm just exhausted."

She examined him carefully noting that he was looking a bit rough and sort of defeated. She felt an inexplicable rush of compassion for the man sitting in front of her. Why, she'd no idea. He'd exasperated her more times than she could count, and caused her enough difficulties at work without impinging on her free time. The words that came out of her mouth surprised her almost as much as they did Joey. "You can kip here if you want," she gestured to the sofa, "so long as you don't disrupt me painting."

Before Joey had a chance to reply she'd headed upstairs to start her decorating.

Immediately he laid on his side, put a cushion under his head, and closed his eyes.

Some four hours later he opened them, yawned and tried to focus on his surroundings. Where the hell was he? As realisation dawned on him he looked at his watch and cringed, what was Martina gonna think? He was debating about what to do and say when she put in an appearance, dressed in a paint spattered boiler-suit, her hair covered with a plastic carrier bag fashioned into a turban which she was fumbling to remove.

Joey leapt up, "Allow me sweetheart." He undid it and folded it in on itself.

"It can go in the bin. It's one of me disposable hats." She began to climb out of the boiler suit. "Do you want a coffee?"

"Let me make it." He picked up the empty mugs from earlier and went to the kitchen.

"Here you are," he put them down, and sat next to her. He noticed she was rubbing one shoulder, and without thinking began to gently massage it. He could feel the muscle was taut, no doubt from where she'd been stretching her arm to paint.

He felt her tense slightly, but decided to ignore it, and gradually she relaxed.

"Er, sorry about being asleep for so long, but first it was Jack and Adrian, then Jack and Billy, then Billy and Adrian, and to add to the fun Billy and Julie decided to have a row on the street. Made sleep impossible."

"It's ok Joey, it made you an undemanding guest," she laughed. "I've just got to put a second coat on the walls and I'm done for the day."

"So how comes you've taken over another floor?"

"The owner wanted rid, he's been trying to sell it for years, he's let it go so much he can't even rent it out. He's practically paid me to take it."

"I noticed there's a lot of empties. I suppose people are worried in case it goes up again."

"Maybe, suits me though. Everett, who's got the flat below, is after the basement, that's still tenanted at the moment, but it's a right mess."

"Why do you need extra bedrooms? Planning for a family?"

"No, it's more about not having anyone upstairs, if that makes sense. I mean there's been some right scallies up there."

He snorted. "Gentrification, you buy in then push out the locals."

She twisted round. "When I moved in the locals were desperate to get out, and they still are. Nobody should be living in those conditions Joey. There's been two families up there at times and no bathroom or kitchen. It'd been the same for this floor, and Ev's was similar. We had to have kitchens and bathrooms put in. And the basement's still a bloody disgrace, but there's a couple with a baby and toddler who were desperate enough to take it."

"No need to get so defensive Martina, I was only ribbing you." Joey spoke nonchalantly.

"Hm, anyway what's the time? I wanna get the second coat on."

"Half past. Would you like some help?"

"No thanks. I'm happy enough painting." She got up. "You can get a bit more beauty sleep if you need to," she added with a smirk.

Joey laughed, "I just might sunshine, I just might."

He really ought to do something more productive with his time, but he was tempted to relax back down and catch up on some much needed sleep. He could check in with his mam to make sure everything was ok, but there again, she'd soon be on the phone if it wasn't. He'd completely forgotten his phone was still off from last night. And being at Martina's certainly beat sitting at home playing referee to all the fights and arguments. And that thought clinched it, he ensconced himself on the sofa once more and let sleep wash over him.

Joey stirred, he was aware that someone was moving around, and opened his eyes slightly. Martina was in front of him with a mug.

"Ar'ey, I would've got those."

"It's ok Joey, just shove over a bit." Martina sat next to him.

"Do you fancy going for a meal? My treat." Joey felt he would like to repay her hospitality.

"No thanks, I wasn't planning on doing much tonight and you're ok, I don't charge for the use of me sofa."

"Well, let me get a takeaway then." He was keen to spend the evening with her, for reasons that his mind couldn't quite grasp.

She looked at him, frowning, "Yeah ok, that'd be nice."

"Won't be a moment, any preferences?"

"No, I'm easy." She caught sight of his expression, "And don't bother with any smart comments either."

"Wouldn't dream of it, sweetheart." He grinned cheekily, winked knowingly and left.

She shook her head and switched the TV on. It occurred to her just how much more attractive she found Joey, unshaven, hair dishevelled and not in leather.

Joey pulled up outside the takeaway, reached for his phone, squinted at it, switched it on and called. "Mam?"

"Oh, Joey luv, where are you? I've been ringing and ringing you all day. It's our Jack. He's gone and booked a ticket to America. He's going to stay with Eddie. Can you get home and talk to him luv?" Nellie's voice was high pitched and rising.

Joey took a deep breath, "Mam, I've got things to sort out, work things. I've got a job on tonight. I can't get away just like that."

He felt dreadful lying to his mam, but he had no intention of passing up the chance to spend an evening with Martina. He needed a break. After all it wasn't an emergency.

"Oh, alright luv." The disappointment in her voice cut through him like a knife. He was tempted to go straight back home but something made him draw back, it'd keep till later.

"Mam, it's not the end of the world. I'll be home after work. Try not to worry."

He switched his phone back off, before replacing it in his jacket and entering the shop.

Stretched out with Martina on her sofa after polishing off the take away, Joey gave a small sigh of contentment, and speculated idly what the odds were of getting Martina to go to bed with him. He'd enjoyed their evening, chatting and laughing about nothing in particular.

"What's on your mind then?" Martina turned away from the screen and looked straight into his eyes.

"Er, nothing really." Joey stalled, he had no intention of sharing his current state of mind with her. Come to think of it though, the position she was laying in meant she might just have an idea of the way his mind was working. He could feel himself blushing.

"Oh?" Martina had a positively evil smirk.

"Well, apart from thinking how pleasant this is, sort of grown up."

"Grown up?" Martina snickered, "Joey you're thirty years old, you are a grown up."

"Yeah but," he hesitated, "living at home I never get the chance to do anything like this."

"No, I suppose not." She shook her head. "Has it not occurred to you to move out? I mean you could pick up a flat round here for the loose change you've got laying around the Palace of Kelsall Street."

"Course it has, but me mam struggles with things and, well, you know." He shrugged.

"Hmm, but you're her son not her husband, and they're your brothers and sister not your kids."

"Yeah I know, but I had to step up, I couldn't just stand there and do nothing. Once me dad started playing away I felt I had to help keep things going." He paused, "Do you have any brothers or sisters?"

"One brother, younger." Her face took on an odd expression.

"Don't you feel responsible for him?"

"Only up to a point Joey," she sighed.

"Oh." Joey sensed there was some issue here that he'd inadvertently touched on.

He stroked her arm. "Sorry sweetheart, I wasn't meaning to upset you."

"No, it's ok. He acquired a bit of a habit when he was in his teens. Started off chasing it at fourteen, ended up injecting it at sixteen."

"Is he clean now?"

"He got off eventually, then started drinking heavily, and I suppose now you'd call him a non-functioning alcoholic."

"Where is he?"

"At me mam's. She slogs her guts out working to pay his drink bills and me dad's gambling debts."

Joey placed his arms round her, and pulled her closer to him. "No wonder you don't live at home."

"I got out as early as I could by accepting the first proposal that came my way."

Joey was dumbfounded, it had never crossed his mind that she might be married. He looked down at her left hand, checking, no wedding ring. He couldn't remember her ever wearing one, and that was something he'd have definitely noticed.

"So, what happened? I take it you're not together?"

"Does it look like it?" She was laughing now, her eyes crinkled up. "What happened Joey is what you'd expect to happen when an eighteen year old girl, who was desperate to get away from home marries a nineteen year old scally lad, who wasn't really out of his babygro." She took a mouthful of wine. "We had a go at playing happy families, we got allocated a flat in Mazzini, it was ok for a bit. Then I grew up, he didn't and, let's just say when I moved out it was a huge relief to both of us."

"Children?"

"No, that was the last thing I was gonna do."

Martina turned over, her face inches away from his, her eyes scrutinising his face. She felt him catch his breath, and noticed the mute appeal in his eyes. It was probably a crazy idea seeking comfort from Joey Boswell of all people, but... he could always make her laugh, well perhaps not always but often, and she did generally enjoy their exchanges. She'd always known that he had a caring side, after all he did everything he could to make sure his family were ok, even if he did cheat the DHSS along the way. She suspected that he was up to his neck in various activities of questionable legality as well. Although in her recent dealings with him she'd come to the conclusion that he was far more sensitive than she'd ever given him credit for. Martina was feeling very, very fragile. Would he make her feel better or be the catalyst for her final shattering into a thousand pieces?

"So you staying the night then?" Martina made up her mind.

The question caught Joey off guard, "Er, why? You asking?"

She laughed, "I'm asking."

He grinned, "I'm staying."

"Right then," she got up and held her hand out to him. Joey took it and allowed himself to be led out.

* * *

Joey was humming to himself as he drove back home. He parked outside number 30, and walked in.

"Oh Joey, I've been so worried about you. It's late and your phone's been off. And what with our Jack, you'll have to talk to him Joey, he thinks he's going off to America." Nellie started up the minute she caught sight of him.

"Mam, it's only half ten. And I was desperate for some sleep, so when I finished up I left it off and got some shut-eye. Some people," he glared at Adrian and Billy, "made sure I had very little the night before. As for our Jack, he's got to fly mam, just like our Aveline did, but she came back, and so will he. Any breakfast going?"

Billy, Adrian and Aveline all looked up.

"Where did you sleep then Joey?" Nellie was anxious as she prepared his food, "You weren't with that Roxy were you?"

Joey closed his eyes, vexed, not again. "No mam. No, I wasn't with her. I was in me car."

"You weren't parked outside," stated Billy accusingly.

"Too right, after your antics in the street in the middle of the night, I was down by the river." Joey answered, ever the accomplished liar.

"Here you are luv," she placed his breakfast down. "But Joey, our Jack, America." She was too choked up to continue.

"Thanks mam. Our Jack just needs to stretch, but he'll be back you see." He lifted the cockerel lid and placed £100 in, before turning his attention to breakfast.

"What did you do last night to get that sort of money?" Adrian could hardly believe his eyes.

"Work Adrian, we don't ask about work." Nellie reprimanded.

Joey couldn't help smiling at the thought of what he had been doing last night and what Martina's reactions might be if he suggested she pay him for his services. He actually chuckled out loud at the scene that conjured up.

"What's amusing you so much?"

"Nothing sunshine, nothing." He finished his breakfast. "Right, I'm off for a bath."

Laying back, the water lapping round his ears Joey softened his gaze and let his mind drift off.

"Joey how much longer you gonna be?"

Joey winced as Billy's whine intruded on his thoughts.

"Right you move, if I can't get into that bathroom next I'll have to pee down the yard drain."

Joey stepped out of the bath, pulled the plug, wrapped the towel round him, opened the door, pushed Billy out of the way, pushed Jack through the door and marched to the boys' bedroom. The look on his face caused them to stop their argument stone dead.

"Joey?" Adrian spoke timidly from his bed. He could tell from Joey's expression that he was pissed off.

"I thought you'd taken me mam to mass?" Joey couldn't believe it, was there nowhere he could get dressed in private?

"I dropped her and said I'd go back to pick her up."

Joey collected his things together and made for his mam's room, walking right past Adrian without any indication he was even there. Adrian instinctively knew how his brother was feeling, he'd come upstairs to escape from Jack and Billy's constant bickering. It'd been driving him mad.

Joey got himself ready, then made his way downstairs. Right that was the last straw, first thing Monday morning he was going to some estate agents. In the meantime it looked like the only place for a bit of peace and quiet was his car.

He drove off down to the river, and stared out at the water eddying around and around on its way downstream.


	5. Chapter 5

**a/n**

 **There seemed to be some friction between Joey and the rest of the family in series 4 and he definitely had less patience with Nellie - when she kept asking him to re-read Jack's letter for example, and I've tried to explore that a bit.**

 **Hi slenderpanda, yeah that 'just a t-shirt ' was ambiguous, sorry about that. I meant she had nothing on under her t-shirt, and Joey became aware of that when he was sitting down and she was standing in front of him with a coffee. Being taller, it would have been less noticeable when he was standing right in front of her at the door.**

Chapter 5

"What did they say about the electricity bill, Joey?"

"Er, I've been a bit busy so far this week mam, but I'll take it when I sign on this afternoon." Joey tried to sound casual, and kept his eyes firmly on The Echo.

He'd been avoiding the DHSS, not sure how he was going to react to Martina, and she to him, but if he wanted his dole then he had to go after dinner today.

"Joey." Nellie addressed her eldest, with the special tone she used when she wanted a serious chat with one of her brood.

"Mam?" Joey kept his tone neutral, his chest tightening.

The rest of them fell silent looking between Joey and their mam.

"I'd like to talk to you."

"Ok mam."

"Now, Joey. Upstairs."

He put his paper on the table and followed his mam up the stairs to her room.

"Well at least he's eaten his breakfast this time, it won't end up all over the wall." Jack tried a joke to ease the tension, all of them recalling the time a few weeks ago when their mam had a go at Joey, and how he'd lost his temper.

"You don't think he's seeing that Roxy again do you?" Adrian wanted to know if Jack and Aveline were thinking along the same lines he was.

Jack shrugged. "It's hard to tell with him isn't it? He never lets on what he's up to."

"Ar'ey I hope not. She's no good for him. Anyway she's married with a baby and another one on the way."

"Do you suppose..." Adrian tailed off, not quite able to put into words his suspicions."

"What?" Jack wondered if Adrian was going to say what he'd been thinking.

Aveline looked at her brothers, "It might explain a lot."

Jack and Adrian nodded, Billy looked from one to the other uncomprehendingly, "Explain what? You talk in half sentences and riddles you lot. Anymore toast going?"

The others fell silent waiting for the explosion from upstairs.

As soon as she shut her door Nellie came to the point. "Are you seeing that Roxy again Joey?"

"I'm not, no." Joey was annoyed, how many times now had his mam asked him this question?

"She's.."

"Married, yes I know. Mam, I've not seen her since I moved her into that flat."

"Are you sure Joey?"

"Of course I'm sure," he snapped, struggling to keep his temper under control.

"She belongs to someone else."

"You've said, yes. What's bought this on mam?"

"You're acting out of character Joey, your patience has gone, you're tetchy with us all. And you get like that whenever you're with her."

Joey didn't deign to reply but walked straight out of her room, downstairs, and out of the front door.

Nellie followed slowly. Joining the others, who had watched Joey walk out in silence, she pursed her lips, "If you've finished I'd like you all out of the way so I can clear."

Apart from Billy, who had remained open mouthed throughout, bits of toast falling from his lips, they scarpered quickly and quietly.

He spluttered, "What's rattled his cage then?"

"Billy!" Nellie's worries and frustrations spilled out as she gave Billy the tongue lashing of his life. He cowered from her, quickly realising silence was the best option, and slunk away as soon as he could.

Once the house was empty Nellie sat down at the table, deeply troubled about Joey. She knew in her heart of hearts that she was being selfish in wanting to keep him close to her, as her right hand, the leader of her pack, but so help her God, she didn't think she could ever manage without him. He'd always put the family first, was loving and loyal to them all, but, she reluctantly admitted, it was only natural that he had his own needs and wants. But why did they have to be bound up with Roxy Hartwell? Nellie laid her head on the table and sobbed her heart out.

Joey placed his hand on the swing door, hesitated momentarily, then pushed it open. He waited until the seat in front of Martina was free, before strolling over and sitting down, casually crossing his legs, and leaning back.

"Greetings." His voice not quite as steady as usual.

Martina screwed her eyes up at the sound. Dear God, what had she been thinking of? Joey Boswell. Joey Boswell! Still it had given her a boost, made her feel that she was still desirable. She resolved to put it out of her mind, and let her professionalism take over.

She unscrewed her eyes and looked up. "Not found any work yet Mr Boswell?"

"Alas no, sweetheart. The vacancies are few and the applicants many..,"

"Alright, Mr Boswell, alright, let me stop you there. I haven't got all day. The resources are few and the supplicants many. Fill that in."

She pushed the form over the counter.

Joey signed and returned it, studying her face as she checked it over, completely deadpan. It was as though nothing had happened between them last weekend.

"Thank you Mr Boswell. N..."

"Oh, there was just the one thing." He laid the bill in front of her. "You know how it is, when the wind whips in from The Mersey, and her icy fingers creep under the gaps in the doors and windows, and..."

"Melt the minute they come into contact with the air temperature in your house Mr Boswell."

She picked it up and her eyebrows nearly disappeared altogether.

"Can't your family club together to pay this Mr Boswell?"

"How can we sweetheart, with only the pittance you allow us? That's why we need you to dip your hand into the government poor box to help out."

Martina look at him steadily, a smile hovering round her lips, despite her best efforts to keep it away.

"You should be pleased really sweetheart that we do all stick together."

She continued to look at him in silence, her eyes daring him to continue.

"I mean if we all lived separately you'd have six bills to consider. As it is we sacrifice space and privacy to keep your costs down, as we huddle together on our one settee to.."

Martina buried her head in her hands. "Oh God, I can't stand it," she muttered, passing a form towards him.

"Fill that in Mr Boswell." Her voice reverted to normal.

"Thank you." Joey added his signature with a flourish, and got up.

"By the way, I know you barricade the doors at three-thirty to the starving hoards, but what time do you stop communicating with the great unwashed?"

Joey didn't want to come straight out and ask her what time she finished.

Martina frowned, "Five o'clock."

He flashed her a dazzling smile and left.

"Next!"

Martina gave the next client a smile, so relieved was she to have got the awkward meeting with Joey over and done with, the first since their unexpected fling. It unnerved them so much they forgot to come out with the story they had been carefully preparing all week and left meekly with just their basic allowance sorted.

Five o'clock came and Martina gathered her things together ready to leave.

She walked to within a few yards of Joey without noticing him, and jumped as he regaled her with his trademark "Greetings."

"Mr Boswell," she acknowledged.

Joey held out his hand. "Would you care to accompany me for a walk along the waterfront, Miss Delaney?"

"What for Mr Boswell?"

"To admire the scenery?" Joey suggested, indicating the Three Graces with his free hand.

"The North Docks weren't that scenic in the first place, let alone now they're dead."

"Well there's beauty in decay, just a different kind." He smiled at her, a diffident smile, more genuine it seemed to her than his usual grin.

"And is it Miss or Mrs?"

"Ms."

They got as far as Bramley Moore Dock, when Martina stopped. "Me dad worked here for years. Me and me brother used to come and meet him sometimes, when we was kids."

"Redundant?"

"No, up at Seaforth. He took a chance to train on the big cranes and it paid off, he's been there since."

Joey leant against a transit shed and gently pulled Martina against him. He kissed the top of her head, "Martina, look I know it's a bit embarrassing, in the DHSS and all that, but, I just want to say, how, er how...nice it was last Saturday. I mean it was more than nice." He paused then tried again. "I really enjoyed spending the evening with you, and, er, oh God, I'm making a right balls up of this."

Martina laughed, "Are you trying to say your place or mine, Joey?"

"No-o." He caught her eye. "Well, yeah, partly I guess, but not just that." He stopped, but before he had a chance to try again she broke in.

"Given how many people are in your place huddled up on the one settee, it'd better be mine." It was reassuring to feel wanted, even if it was by that scrounger extraordinaire Joey Boswell. She likened it to finding your way to the shore after a shipwreck, it was agreeable to have someone to make the journey with.

"There's no space in our house, Martina, there's four of us share one bedroom for a start, and even if there was me mam'd go spare. I mean she's a strict Catholic. She's down the confessional every five minutes, and.." Joey stopped abruptly as Martina's words sank in.

"You'd better hope she's lined up a few indulgences for you then."

She pulled away from him and began to retrace her steps. Joey hastened to follow, trying hard to read her face. He took her hand as they walked back towards Steers House.

"Martina, I thought about what you were saying, you know about having me own place, and that I could pick up a cheap flat around your bit of town. I don't want to live in it all the time, more to give me a bolt hole when it all gets too much at home. So I've had a look at a few this week, and there's a couple I'd like to take a second look at. And I was wondering if you'd come with me."

She turned her head, puzzlement written all over her face, "Me, Mr Boswell, why?"

"Joey." He gave her a cheeky grin. "If you're after the use of me body again you can at least use me first name."

Martina spluttered, but before she had a chance to retort he continued, "No, seriously, I'd appreciate your opinion, I mean it's something I've never done before."

She nodded, "Yeah, ok then. Suppose it'll save you hogging me sofa. But it'll have to be over weekends, I've no time off due."

"You could throw a sickie."

"No Joey, I won't be doing that."

"Course not sweetheart, I wouldn't expect you to, I mean imagine if one of us came down to claim and you weren't there to deal with it."

"There'd always be some-one there to help you."

"Yeah, but I don't fancy any of the others." Joey could have kicked himself, he hadn't meant to say that out loud. He didn't want her getting any ideas, she was pretty fit and he did quite like her but, well, Roxy still occupied his heart. He noticed her blush, and thought for the first time ever she seemed rattled. He'd never seen that before, not when the likes of Dick Wilson had been threatening her, claimants shouting abuse at her, or he remembered guiltily, the time he'd lost his temper with her over the phone bill. She always remained composed and in control. They reached his car and he opened the door for her.

"Thanks Joey," she gave him a shy half smile and settled herself down. She prayed he meant physically fancy. She was in no state to be dealing with anything else.

* * *

The ringtone cut into his pleasurable thoughts. He braced himself and waited for the inevitable outburst, his tension increasing. When it didn't come he was left paralysed with confusion.

"Joey, your phone's ringing." Martina lifted her head to give him a mildly puzzled look.

"Yeah, I know."

"Aren't you gonna answer it?"

"I wasn't, no."

She gave him a sardonic smile, "Don't want to discuss your dodgy deals in front of me, eh?"

"It won't be, it's bound to be me mam."

"You're admitting to cutting dodgy deals then?" Her smile became positively wicked.

"No, I'm not, but I'm pretty sure that'll have been me mam."

The phone burst into life again.

"Either answer it or turn it off." Martina stated before resting her head back down.

Joey reached out, he might just as well get it over with, if he switched off now, she'd know and there'd be an almighty row later.

"Hello, yes?"

"Joey?"

"Yes." His tone was curt.

"Joey, what's wrong? You're with her aren't you?" Nellie was gearing up for a rant.

"Mam, nothing's wrong, and no I'm not. I've just got a lot on at the moment, so unless it's a matter of life and death you can tell me later." He could feel Martina shaking against him with suppressed laughter at the incongruity of his statement.

"Oh, ok Joey." She sounded hurt and he felt bad for disappointing her, but he was surely entitled to a bit of time to himself, and he had just been enjoying the moment with Martina. He disconnected and switched it off, what he should have done earlier.

He wriggled back down running his fingers down Martina's spine. "Sorry about that, I should've switched it off."

"It's ok Joey." Martina couldn't keep the amusement out of her voice.

Pretty damning really thought Joey, more shamed by Martina's amusement than he had ever been by Roxy's constant tirades against his family.

Joey always had the impression that his mam hadn't been over keen on the physical side of married life, endorsed by odd things his dad had said over the years. His dad had resolved it by going with different women. But it seemed as though losing Freddie to Lilo Lil meant she couldn't bear to contemplate letting her children, and him especially, go. He knew exactly why Jack had plotted and saved to get away to America, without even having to ask him. And as for Aveline, egged on by their mam, the boys had chaperoned her to within an inch of her life until she'd fled to Manchester to get away from them all. She'd returned older, wiser, more experienced, and no longer willing to tolerate their interference. Joey was convinced she had someone at present, someone who meant a lot to her, not that she was letting on. He wondered if she'd be half way out of the door with her bags packed before she did.

"Penny for them." Martina smirked at him.

"Penny! My golden thoughts are priceless, sweetheart." Joey was quick to respond.

She shook her head and placed her lips against him and from that moment on Joey stopped thinking at all.

"Can I stay the night?"

"I dunno, can you? Do you need permission to stay out? As far as I'm concerned you may." Martina was in sarcastic mode.

"No, I don't need permission. Look, I'm sorry about the phone, I know I should've switched it off, I wasn't thinking, me mind was on other things." Joey spoke calmly, despite his insides squirming with embarrassment.

Martina frowned. "What?" She was puzzled that her jibe at him over using 'can' not 'may' seemed to have bothered him so much. "I was only joking with you Joey, you know saying 'can I' not 'may I.' I didn't mean anything."

She suddenly recalled Joey saying that Roxy had always resented his family. Mind you if what had happened this evening had been a consistent part of their relationship, the woman may have had a point.

"Oh." Joey was relieved to hear her say that. He'd been thinking, well never mind. He smiled. "Like I said before, I never had the benefit of a grammar school education, Ms Smarty Pants."

"It's fine Joey, but it's a work day tomorrow, so me alarm will be going off as usual."

"No sweat. Do you want me to get a takeaway for dinner tonight?"

"I've a pot of dhal on the go, plenty of rice, but I've no meat defrosted to go with it. I can.."

"Hold it there sweetheart, I don't eat meat so no worries." Joey was quick to reassure her.

"You don't eat meat?" Martina was incredulous as her eyes scanned over him. She burst out laughing, "I've heard it all now, a leather wearing vegetarian, who just happens to drive a Jag filled to the brim with the stuff."

Joey had to laugh with her. "I had the car and the leather gear before I became a vegetarian."

She raised her eyebrows. "Sounds like a cop out to me, Joey Boswell."

He shrugged. "I'm not forcing everyone else to give up eating meat, so I think while they're still being killed for food, it's ok to use the skin. I wouldn't wear something that had been killed just for their coat."

"Fair up to a point, although still hypocritical," she conceded. "Actually, I'm with you on the real fur issue, I wouldn't wear it either. I like a bit of fake fur though."

"Yeah, I'd noticed. Very Bet Lynch," he grinned. It had been one of the things that had surprised him the first time he'd been in her flat. Her music collection had been another, loads of ska, reggae, northern soul and punk along with complete sets of operas, and seemingly random albums from different genres thrown into the mix. Her bookcase showed a similar eclectic choice ranging from Herodotus to The Stepford Wives and everything in between. And as for some of the political slogans on her mugs. She must be one of those loony lefties the tabloids went on about. Not that you'd ever think so the way she carried on at the Social. Joey had never had much time for politics, socialist or otherwise. Keeping his family together and solvent was enough for him to be going on with.

* * *

The alarm rang out waking Joey. He snuggled up to Martina as she reached over to switch it off. "Quick bout of love in the morning?"

Martina turned to him, smiling sleepily, "I dunno about love in the morning, but I'm not adverse to a spot of sex in the morning. But quick's the operative word, I'm due in at nine."

Joey grinned, "Quick I can do, no problem."

As soon as he saw her expression he realised he'd handed her a loaded gun to fire, so he forestalled the sarky comment he knew was about to come his way by kissing her.

As Martina went to shower she called back, "I don't bother with breakfast meself, but feel free if you want anything."

"It's ok sweetheart, once I've dropped you I'll pick something up." Joey propped himself against the pillows and surveyed the room serenely.

The contented mood lasted him until he let himself into home and straight into an argument between his mam and Jack.

"It's no good mam, me visa's come, me ticket's booked and I'm going in ten days."

"Jack, don't be.."

"What's all this then?" Joey went behind Nellie and began to rub her shoulders.

"Oh Joey, Joey luv, I was worried, your phone's been off again. And Jack thinks he's going to stay with Eddie in LA, and Aveline's gone off with no breakfast." Nellie was close to tears. "Then you were.."

"I told you last night mam, I've a lot of work at present." Joey interrupted before she could start on about Roxy and set him off. She was evidently upset about Jack and he didn't want to add to her woes by losing it with her. He leant forward and put £100 in the pot. Adrian shook his head in disbelief and Billy gawped.

"I can't be answering the phone every five minutes, and Aveline hardly ever bothers with breakfast when she's modelling. She's quite capable of getting herself something when she's finished. And Jack has got everything arranged to go and try his luck for a bit in America. So why don't you sit down and I'll pour you a cup of tea."

Jack flashed him a grateful look and made his escape. Billy carried on eating and Adrian began sucking his spoon, looking at his eldest brother through narrowed eyes.

"You'll get caught one day, you do know that don't you? And I want you to know I don't approve. You can't possibly be earning this sort of cash legitimately. It's all wrong Joey, all wrong. My peace of mind is hanging by a thread, hanging by a thread."

"Well, I might sunshine, I might." Joey paused. "But then again I might not."


	6. Chapter 6

**a/n**

 **Until PCR became established in the 1990s as the standard method for paternity testing in the UK, blood combinations were widely used. Although DNA profiling became possible in the 1980s it was only accepted as criminal evidence for the first time in 1986 and wasn't generally available for paternity tests. I've taken the bit about Shifty's mam being called Aida from 'Mrs Boswell's Slice of Bread', and where Aveline refers to an aunt Ada when she's talking about her family to Oswald, and Nellie when she gets Shifty's letter, I've taken the liberty of conflating the two. I wanted to address the grandad thing as well. It was clear in the series and book that Shifty was from Freddie's side, yet grandad was Nellie's father. Also Joey states Shifty was grandad's favourite, yet Billy said he didn't know he had a cousin Shifty, and Adrian seemed never to have heard of him either - one of those inconsistencies that turn up in Bread every so often.**

Chapter 6

"Complex." Michael took a sip of wine, before lowering his glass and meeting Joey's eyes.

"It is, yes."

"One thing about being gay Joey, no matter how casual the sex, no one knocks on your door saying they are pregnant."

"It wasn't casual. I love Roxy." Joey was indignant.

"Still?"

Joey looked down and nodded. He could feel Michael's eyes on him.

"Why?"

"I dunno. Why do people fall in love?" Joey was speaking into his plate. "I mean you don't get up thinking I'm gonna fall in love today do you, it just happens."

"Depends on the love. I think we confuse love with lust, or gratitude, or safety, or any number of emotions."

"Cynic." Joey still didn't want to meet Michael's eyes.

"Sure you've not stopped thinking with your brain, and let some other part of your anatomy take over?"

Joey shook his head.

Michael, in his own way, was fond of Joey. Originally attracted by Joey's good looks, he had been impressed by the younger man's handling of the whole situation. Initially he'd pursued a friendship he thought he could exploit for his own ends, but as he started to see past the cocky brashness, he'd come to respect Joey for the way he was prepared to do whatever it took to stop his family being like every other deserted family on a deserted Merseyside. He admired his loyalty and the way he'd made the best of what was available to him.

The waiter came to clear the table.

"Thank you. May we have the desert menu please?" Michael smiled charmingly at him.

"Certainly sir."

Despite Liverpool's troubles, the Philharmonic Orchestra still performed to packed houses, and the Hall's restaurant was virtually full with the pre-concert audience, it being one of the few decent places to eat in the city centre.

"Joey, I'll do my best to find out what I can."

Joey finally looked up, and was touched by the concern shining out of his eyes. "Thanks."

"Joey, if I need to go through Alastair, and I might, because he can find out medical details, would you be easy with that?"

Joey grimaced, he trusted Michael, but Alastair Grainger was likely to want the favour returned. But he needed some resolution, and if that was the only way, well he'd just have to take the hit. He nodded.

"It is likely that Alastair will want a quid pro quo." Michael raised his eyebrows questioningly.

Joey assumed that was just a posh way of saying favour returned. "Yeah, I know."

"Blood group?"

"Sorry?" Joey was lost.

"Which blood group are you?"

"What's that got to do with anything?"

"You can say that a child is definitely not yours depending on blood group combinations. Although of course, it is impossible to say absolutely that a child is yours only that it maybe."

"Oh." This was news to Joey. "So you'd need to know hers and the lad's as well? How you gonna do that?"

"Alastair."

"Right, course. I'm A positive."

They finished their coffee, and Michael requested the bill.

"My shout Joey," he insisted. They walked into the auditorium.

After dropping Michael at his home on Seymour Street, the only one in the terrace that appeared habitable, Joey drove back towards home. Michael was another one who raved about Georgian houses, and like Martina seemed to be unfazed by living in a dicey part of the city. Joey wasn't so sure, he associated the Georgian areas as being run-down, full of illicit drinking and gambling clubs, crime ridden, red-light, drug filled and riot prone. But Martina's remark about buying a flat there with the loose change he had lying about, had proved to be true. He could easily afford his own little refuge, it didn't really matter about the surroundings given he wasn't intending to actually live there. And anyway, he could take care of himself on the streets. Which reminded him, Martina had agreed to come and look at a couple of places with him, and he hadn't pinned her down yet as to when. He couldn't help driving down Canning Street and noted that her lights were still on. He slowed, then shook his head. His mind was all over the place, it wouldn't be fair to her. He sped up and drove to Kelsall Street.

"Joey?" The voice came out of the darkness.

"Mam?" Joey was perplexed, normally she went to bed early. And why on earth was she sitting in the dark? He switched on the light. Nellie was on the sofa in her dressing gown, Mongy nestled next to her, clutching a letter from Jack.

"Have you been to work Joey?"

"No mam. I've been to a concert at the Philharmonic."

"Oh. With her Joey?"

He drew a deep breath, shut his eyes and counted to ten. "No."

"It's hard you know Joey."

"What is?"

"Being a mother. I suppose you'll all leave eventually." She drew breath and waved Jack's letter at him. "Seeing Billy trapped, Adrian crushed, and watching you struggle and suffer, it hurts Joey, it hurts. My sons, my precious sons, caught up, used, and spat out by, by tarts." Her voice was getting louder and shriller.

Joey sat next to her. "What's bought this on mam?"

"Oh, just life Joey. At the moment nothing seems to be going right."

He took her hand. "I don't know about that mam. We've all got our health, each other, enough to live on and a bit besides. It could be a lot worse."

"Our Jack's in America, your father's off cavorting with a trollopy tart. You," she looked at him probingly. "Well, it doesn't matter."

Tempted though he was to remonstrate, he knew his mother was itching to bring up Roxy again, so he changed the subject. "Do you remember Aunt Ada's son, Shifty?"

"Of course I remember him. How could anyone forget him? He'd pinch the pennies off a dead man's eyelids. It was the best thing she ever did sending him to Ireland, out of everybody's way." Nellie focused all her grievances onto Shifty.

Joey smiled. Mentioning Shifty had certainly taken Nellie's attention off him. "Well, he's back in Liverpool now."

"Saints preserve us. He's what you get when father's not around, and mother couldn't care less. She barely knew his father, if indeed he was the father. They lived together, lived together Joey, not married and it was the fifties, for five minutes." Nellie snorted. "No more than you'd expect from your father's family of course. I mean naming a child Aida. She ended up being called Ada anyway."

Joey smiled, it probably wasn't a good time to tell Nellie that her nephew, who'd been back in Liverpool on and off ever since he'd been exiled to Ireland by his exasperated mam, was presently residing care of HMP Walton, due for release very soon, and that he'd visited him a few times.

"Well grandad always liked him."

"I don't know why, he isn't even related to him. I don't know how he's got the cheek to call my father grandad." Nellie was agitated again.

"It doesn't matter, does it? It's just a bit of respect, like calling older family friends auntie or uncle." Joey tried to pacify her.

Nellie sniffed. "He's trouble Joey, nothing but trouble, you stay away from him." Nellie didn't let on that she knew exactly where Shifty was and why. She'd gone to great lengths to make sure the rest of the family were kept in the dark, and was now bothered over how much Joey knew. One more thing to add to her list of burdens.

He kissed her. "Anyway mam, I'm off to bed. You going up?"

"I suppose so." Nellie got to her feet. "Switch the light out Joey."

He followed her upstairs and crept in hoping not to disturb anyone. To his relief Adrian and Billy were sleeping peacefully. He got into bed regretting that he hadn't knocked at Martina's. He could be making love to her now rather than lying alone, sleepless, staring into the dark, his mind spinning.


	7. Chapter 7

**a/n Joey moves a step closer to getting his own place and tries to improve things with his mam.**

Chapter 7

"So what do you think?" Joey asked as they walked back to her flat.

"I think it depends on what you want to do with it, now and longer term. How, and bear in mind I want to know nothing about this, you propose to fund it. Whether you're willing to put some work in. How risk averse you are." Martina spoke in a measured tone.

"But what's your gut instinct?" Joey was persistent.

"I'm not you Joey, and I think you need to go through the pro's and con's." She opened the front door and held it for him, "I'm happy to talk through them with you, if you think it will help."

She went to shut the door. "Hello handsome."

Joey looked round. A sleek grey cat had followed them in and pushed against Martina. She picked it up, nursed it, lifted it up to her face and cooed at it.

Joey smiled to himself, a side to Martina he wouldn't have put money on.

"Is it yours?"

"No, Ev's. He gets the odd mouse down there, and Dobbin's a little fur-coated mousetrap."

"Dobbin? You can't call a cat Dobbin." Joey was cracking up.

Martina put him back down, whereupon he went to his front door, reared up onto his hind legs and began pawing against it insistently.

"I don't see why not. So long as he's loved and fed, he's not gonna be bothered."

Not a bad life thought Joey as he ascended the stairs, being loved and fed by Martina. He gave himself a mental shake. Not an avenue to even begin to consider exploring.

With her shoes kicked off, her legs folded under her, and clutching her mug, Martina began her summing up.

"They're both top floor, so no-one above you, and both in L1, if the postcode's an issue. The one in Gambier Terrace you could move straight into, just decorate it to your own taste when you feel like it. It's Victorian at that end so it's not listed, and likely to be better built. I think you'd be able to get a mortgage without any problems so you could sell it on if you wanted to. On the other hand there's no outside space, it's nearly twice the price and smaller. The other needs a bathroom or a shower room at the very least before you move in. If you're not gonna bother cooking then you could probably manage with the kitchen area, just update bits and pieces. Mind, you'd probably need to rewire and replumb at some point. It's Georgian, listed, had a hard life, and may not be mortgageable, so you might not be able to shift it later. The area's edgier, and you'll have some lively neighbours, but it's cheap, bigger, and you've got access to the gardens."

"So you'd recommend Gambier Terrace then?"

She turned to look at him, her eyes crinkled up. "It's the safer option."

"Yeah, I know. But what would you do?" Joey loved it when her eyes were like that, it made her look so warm and friendly.

"Me personally?"

He nodded.

"I'd go with Hope Place. But then I've always liked a gorgeous Georgian. I expect it's a reaction to spending most of me formative years in boxy sixties builds. If you're willing to take the risk and put some work in you'll end up with a spacious, well proportioned flat."

Joey threw back his head and laughed. "You're sounding like an estate agent. I might be able to expand as well over time."

"Yeah, probably. And Joey, you can get away with paying a lot less than the asking price you know. It's been on the market for ages. I suspect they need a cash buyer."

Just as he was about to reply, his business mobile vibrated, sod it, he needed to answer. He mouthed a 'sorry' to her. "Hello, yes?"

'I need some gear shifting tonight, you can take Vinny for the lifting, drop off due about 1am, coming off junction 4 westbound M57. Lenny. Deliver as usual to Athol Street. Two ton in it for you.'

"Er, short notice isn't it?"

'D'ya want the job or not?'

"Yes. I'll see to it. See you later." He cut the call and put the phone back in his pocket.

"Changed your phone then?"

Jesus, she was sharp. "No, it's a spare." He hoped that would satisfy her.

She laid a hand on his arm, her voice caustic. "Spare? Come off it. And that wasn't your mam either. But Joey, I don't want to know, alright?"

"Suits me."

He was surprised but pleased she was so relaxed about it, given the way she'd always gone on about being out to catch him. It could be either that now she'd got to know him better she'd lost the urge to persecute him, or that was just the frosty DHSS lady talking and the real Martina was far more sympathetic. Given what he'd seen of her political leanings, conceivably the latter was more likely.

"So, I'll contact the agent and put in an offer on Hope Place."

He leant forward to put his cup down, and noticed a Post Office missed delivery card.

"Would you like me to collect this for you?" Joey picked it up. "I'm heading out to Walton Monday and it's on the way."

"Thanks Joey, that'd be helpful. Part of your unceasing search for work?' She couldn't help smirking.

"No, I'm collecting me cousin. He's been banged up there for the past six months."

"Oh." She wondered where this conversation was going.

"Actually he'll have no where to stay and.."

"No, before you ask." She rolled her eyes and shook her head. Cheek of Joey Boswell.

"I wasn't going to. I wouldn't inflict him on any woman, least of all you. That's the last thing I'd do, he's a total shit where women are concerned. I'm gonna try and persuade me mam to take him in." Joey was quick to defend himself.

"Where you going to stick him, you're full aren't you?"

"Well, our Jack's beds free at the moment. Knowing Shifty he'll be back inside before Jack gets back. And anyway, our grandad's always had a soft spot for him, he might let him stop."

"Made a career of it then, has he?"

"I wouldn't describe it like that, but he does make a habit of nicking things, especially cars. He can't seem to keep his hands off them. He drove a stolen Porsche down the M6 with the bizzies in hot pursuit last time." He wavered, he wanted to give Martina a heads up about his cousin without sounding possessive.

"He's got a tendency to get engaged every five minutes as well. I know of three he's been through, really nice they were, didn't justify being treated the way he treated them, and I'm sure there's been others. He can be a real charmer."

"Typical Boswell eh?" Martina smirked.

"No, not typical of us at all. Billy's only ever been seeing Julie. Adrian's only really had a thing with Carman, he's like a rabbit in headlights round women. I've, well you know all about that." He trailed off.

"Jack?" Martina wasn't giving up.

"Jack's had plenty of women, but they always finish with him and he's the one left sobbing into his cornflakes." Joey had to smile recalling some of the traumatic Jack episodes they'd been through.

She laughed, she could just imagine it. Jack had always struck her as being the one who said very little, to her at any rate, in comparison with his brothers. Adrian was always timid, but had a mouth on him once he plucked up the courage and got going, Billy could be like a junior Joey, and Joey would spout for England, given half the chance.

"Apart from me dad of course." Joey could see a resemblance between his dad and Shifty. "I mean Lilo Lil wasn't exactly the first, but she was the only serious one. The only one he was prepared to risk his home comforts for."

"Mmm." Martina wasn't able to think of anything sensible to say at this point.

"But he's still pulled back to me mam. That's what she finds hard. It was easier when we didn't see him at all. Three years he stayed away."

"Why'd he come back?" Martina was curious.

"She'd left him at that point. I think it was the first time she'd done that. She was soon back though. One or the other's always leaving, then going back. They can't keep away from each other, it's like they're joined on a bit of elastic."

Just like you and Roxy thought Martina, smiling wryly. "Anyway I suppose I'll have the dubious pleasure of meeting Shifty. I guess he'll be wanting to claim."

Joey nodded. He knew how engaging Shifty could be and he didn't want the next victim to be Martina. At least if she fell for his charms she'd have been forewarned. Joey felt a sharp pang at the thought. Not that there was anything between them, not really. He got the impression that she too had a disastrous relationship at her back, even though she'd said nothing. It seemed to suit both of them, they had sought solace from each other, and it had been soothing. At least it had been for him, he hoped that Martina was getting something from it as well. He assumed she was, she didn't strike him as someone who'd put up with anything she wasn't ok with. He turned to her.

"Do you fancy going out for some lunch?"

"Yeah, that'd be nice." She leant over and gave him a kiss, running her hands down him. "We could make it a late lunch, or early dinner."

He pulled her closer. "Sounds even better."

* * *

"Joey, have you eaten?" Were Nellie's first words as soon as he came in.

"I have mam, yes."

"I wish you'd let me know, Joey. Then I wouldn't bother saving a plate."

"Sorry mam, I'll try to remember in future." He did his best to sound apologetic.

He decided to try and mend some bridges with his mam. He'd need to if he was to stand any chance of getting her to accept Shifty into the fold. So long as she didn't keep harping on about Roxy. It was difficult enough to keep his thoughts away from her as it was. He'd been trying hard to push her to the back of his mind, but she still slithered out to haunt him at every opportunity.

When he'd been with her home had always felt like a refuge, now he seemed constantly irritated by everything and everyone in it. He couldn't work out if he resented them because he felt they were responsible for the break up in the first place, or because he felt so low he begrudged having to sort everyone else when he just wanted to hide away and lick his wounds.

And, whilst he was waiting for Michael to get back to him, the unresolved paternity questions still reverberated round his brain during his frequent sleepless nights.

"Are you in now for the evening?" Nellie asked sharply.

"Until about eleven-thirty, yes."

"Work?"

"Yes." He frowned. It was unlike his mam to question his late night activities. He knew he could get away with nights out under the guise of work. So long as he put a decent contribution in the pot the following morning his mam wouldn't question it. He supposed it was the early evenings and weekend day times that were bugging her. That, and the fact that when he was with Martina, he kept his phone off. He jolted, it was like being hit by a sandbag. The very thing he had never done when he was with Roxy and which had been the cause of so many of their rows, he was now doing as a matter of course.

"What's this mam, twenty questions?" He spoke lightly to ease the tension, and to keep his thoughts away from the realisation he'd just had, and what it might mean. He didn't want to go there right now.

"You've been doing a lot of all nighters recently Joey."

"I have yes, it's been busy, but well paid." He knew she couldn't argue with that. "Mam, if we want the money, then I have to do what I have to do. I can't just leave what I'm doing to come home every time there's a problem, and I can't keep taking calls either, so the phone goes off. Someone has to earn in the family, I don't see anyone else contributing much." He made a big effort not to sound too hacked off.

Nellie heaved a sigh, he had her there. "I know son, I know. It's just," she threw up her hands. "She's changed you, you know, that Roxy."

"Mam, you need to stop right now. I'm trying to get past her and you're constantly going on, bringing her back up. Maybe I have changed, and maybe I needed to, but you're not being fair. I just want to let it go and get on with the rest of me life, but you won't let it be." He was definitely struggling now to hold onto his temper, and his voice had the edge of anger to it that Nellie feared and hated to hear.

Joey was torn, he was tempted to walk out of the door and either throw himself on Martina's mercy for a few hours, or sit in his car. But he also felt obliged to try and sort things with his mam. He tried slowing his breathing in an attempt to keep his temper in check.

"Everything's changing Joey. What's to become of us? Jack's taken off for America, Aveline wants to be out and about, Manchester changed her too Joey, and not for the better. Billy's got his own family now, and Adrian won't even use his given name!" Nellie's voice was getting higher and higher.

"Jack wanted to prove himself mam, he needed to follow his dream. He's still our Jack even though he's in the States. And he'll be back mam, he'll be back." He managed to speak in an even tone.

"But he won't be the same Jack, don't you see?" Nellie was nearly in tears, frustrated at how Joey seemed unable to take her side in the way he usually did.

"Well, we all have to alter and grow mam. That's life isn't it? But we'll always be family, though we argue and get on everyone's nerves at times, we'll always be around for each other. Billy's only over the road and he spends more time here than there. Adrian's trying to find a role for himself. It was a big blow to him losing his job. Of course Aveline wants to do her own thing mam. It's usual. It's what normal people do, have lives of their own, outside their families. It doesn't mean you love your family any less. You still loved granny and grandad once you had us. Why would we be any different?" Summoning up his last vestiges of patience Joey managed to keep speaking steadily.

He stopped short of what he was intending to say, then decided to go ahead. One more row wouldn't matter and there was no one in to witness it, and get upset.

"It's all about me dad isn't it? I know it's been hard for you over the years. You've had to keep us together, and deal with your own loss. But expecting us not to want to grow up and move on, well it isn't reasonable mam. Dad is dad, he's not gonna change now. He can't stay still for long. You have to think about whether you want to settle for him as he is, in and out of your life, or whether it's time to, to call it a day."

He waited for Nellie's wrath to explode. It didn't come, she just seemed to sag and shrink somehow and her face crumple and age ten years.

"I know you're right Joey. Wise beyond your years. You've had to be. I'm sorry for that and I'm sorry about Roxy, I won't mention her again." Her voice was small and shaky and it sliced through Joey to his core.

If only thought Joey, taking his mam in his arms and kissing her forehead.

She hugged him in return, baffled as she smelt the unfamiliar perfume clinging to his skin. Ah well, perhaps he was trying to get over that woman by having a bit of hanky panky. She wouldn't blame him for that. Just so long as it wasn't her bed he had come from, the tart.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/n In the next few chapters I've either incorporated directly, or switched round events from series 4 to suit my AU.**

Chapter 8

"A vicar?" Martina's eyes crinkled up. "I bet that's gone down like a lead balloon. When I got married it was the only thing me mam went on about, and on, and on, him being a proddy. Nothing about being too young, or too rash or how you gonna support yourselves, or where do you think you're gonna live. Just the fact the he wasn't one of us." She shook her head, her eyes soft and warm.

"Perhaps she was right. It didn't work out did it?" Joey ventured.

"No it didn't, but that wasn't the reason. He's a nice fella, and I didn't treat him right. At the time I was convinced I was in love with him, but looking back, I just wanted to get away from home. He was the youngest and all he ever wanted was a family of his own, just like his brothers, and I thought that's what I wanted too. We was so young, just kids really, and we had such a lot of growing up to do. I know I wasn't the same person at twenty-two that I'd been at twenty-one, but he struggled to mature. He still wanted a family, but by then I didn't. I told him I'd come off the pill, but I hadn't. Month after month he was disappointed. Eventually I came to the conclusion that I couldn't spend the rest of me life living like that. So I went for a room in Kenny Fields and left. I think, deep down he was as relieved as I was. Not that he would ever have made that decision."

Joey kept quiet, it was the first time she'd ever talked about herself in any depth and he didn't want to interrupt the flow. After the day he'd had, he was glad to be somewhere restful, where he could feel himself uncoiling. He had started by collecting Shifty, spent ages trying to persuade his mam to take him in, before finally getting him settled with Grandad, then mollifying her. Lilo Lil decided to come banging on the door, shouting at Freddie who'd called in for his tea. In return his mam had slung dessert over her. Grandad had added to his problems by going on about all the things Shifty had bought him. Joey knew it, you couldn't trust Shifty for five minutes. And of all the days to do it on, Aveline had finally come clean about having a special person in her life. Nellie had been panicking, as it got later and later with Aveline still not back, and Joey had felt duty bound to sit with her, reassuring her that everything was ok, and drinking endless cups of coffee. When Aveline finally did appear, she announced she'd got engaged and, to crown the day, she blurted out that he was a vicar. She'd fled to her room calling out to him to talk to his mam. Nellie had gone ballistic, and it had taken him ages to get her into an even vaguely reasonable state of mind. And as for that sodding letter of Jack's. He was tempted to rip the bloody thing up. Instead he had read it again, forced Adrian to look after his mam, and escaped with the excuse that he had something to deliver.

"I suppose most of us are thoughtless when we're young aren't we?" Martina was still pensive.

"We are, yes. I'm embarrassed now at some of the things I said and did. But if we learn from that, well it's all part of developing. I mean if I was still acting at thirty the way I was at nineteen it'd be all wrong. As me brother used to say when you're a kitten you can pee on the carpet and when you're a cat you can't."

She smiled then frowned. "And that's why people like your Roxy and..," she paused, "are so out of order. Still playing games with people when they're old enough to know better."

Joey peeked at her, spotting that her eyes were moist. He guessed she wasn't only talking about Roxy and it wasn't her husband either. She'd been speaking of him with affection and fondness, whereas now there was a distinctly bitter edge to her tone. He bit his lip, should he ask her outright, be tactful, or just hold her tight and keep his gob shut?

Joey took a deep breath. "So, the man who broke your heart, what was his name?"

Her face closed down. "I don't want to talk about it Joey. Clear?"

He nodded. "Of course sweetheart. I understand." He didn't though. Talking to Martina had helped him make some sense of his troubles and he had to admit he felt like some of his jagged edges had been smoothed out since he'd been around her. Perhaps she didn't trust him enough to confide in him. He thought he'd have a go at changing the mood.

"I'm bringing me cousin down to see you tomorrow, in your official capacity."

She rolled her eyes. "I can't wait. A whole new, hang on, is he a Boswell?"

Joey beamed.

"Oh good. A whole new Boswell gob to spout at me. Apart from serial engagements and thieving, what's his speciality?"

"I'm not sure what you mean sunshine."

"You know, how you go on about a large and struggling family to support, Billy goes on about having an estranged wife and baby to support, Adrian goes on about his creative side to support." She started giggling.

"What's so funny?"

"Your Adrian was in today trying to get money for his art classes. When I checked the records his name came up as Jimmy. He said that Jimmy didn't sit well with his artistic temperament or some such nonsense. Then," she couldn't contain herself any longer and burst into laughter.

"He only went and left a stuffed rabbit behind that had fallen out of his briefcase. I had to call him back." She finally managed to splutter out.

Out of loyalty to his brother Joey tried hard not to join in, no wonder he'd been so humpy this evening. "Oh well, he's a sensitive lad is our Adrian."

"I suppose that's one way to put it." She was still amused.

He was pleased to see her cheering up. He was sure she wasn't as robust inside though, and he still had the urge to reach out and comfort her. But he didn't want her thinking he only called round for sex, especially as tonight he had to go back home and make sure everything was sound, and he didn't want to be walking out straight after.

"Right I'd better be off, make sure Adrian hasn't had a complete meltdown dealing with me mam."

"No, wouldn't want to disrupt the muse would we?" Her voice was laced with sarcasm.

Joey wasn't quite sure how to take that. "See you tomorrow."

"Look forward to it." The sarcasm was still in evidence.

"Oh and Joey, thanks for fetching me parcel." She spoke the last sentence in a completely different tone and gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek.

The house was locked up when he got back, and he made his way straight to bed. Billy was fast on, but Adrian was reading. He looked up as Joey entered.

"I don't know how you do it, Joey. I found it very hard, very hard dealing with me mam."

"Yes well Adrian, sometimes we all have to do things which are challenging." Joey sat on the bed.

"Joey, are you sure you're alright?" Adrian had expected a more sympathetic response, or at the very least some praise for coping, and now looked at him intently, noting with dismay how harassed he looked.

"Perfectly. Thank you Adrian." Joey spoke with an air of finality, got back up and went downstairs.

Adrian sighed, he could never seem to get it right with his brothers. He went back to his book.

Joey took out his phone. "Martina can, no," he grinned, "may I come back over?"

Her answer put him in a much better frame of mind, and as he drove over he reflected that they'd managed perfectly well without him for a couple of hours and maybe he should start putting himself first sometimes.

* * *

It was almost closing time, Martina placed her closed sign up whilst she tried to unravel a hugely complicated claim from her last client. Something was bothering her, she couldn't place her finger on what it was, but it had set off all her alarm bells. She pulled out some related files and began to go through them methodically. She became aware of some-one in front of her, then Joey Boswell going ding-dong on an imaginary bell.

"I'm closed Mr Boswell, can't you read?" She indicated her sign.

"Just a quick thing about our Shifty."

"Oh yeah?"

"Being as how I'm feeling responsible for him, could you tell me if he's collected his money yet?"

She glared at him, checking out to see if the other clerks were likely to be listening, but they were both intent on their claimants.

"Joey," she hissed. "Just because you and I are, er, well, whatever, you can't come in here and expect me to break confidentiality rules for you."

He lowered his voice, "No, no I know that sweetheart, but I was just wanting to check that he hasn't started his old tricks again. I mean he is in me grandad's house."

She looked at him, barely moving her lips. "I'll meet you after work. Outside The Pump House."

As he got up, she followed him with her eyes, her voice reverting to normal. "You know Mr Boswell I'm never quite sure what you're after, it's like being told there's a fire, but not where it is."

Joey responded with a wink and, "I'll be happy to show you the fireman's lift any day," before he raised his eyebrows and sauntered out.

She shook her head, cheeky git.

"I don't know how you keep your patience with that man, Martina luv." Carole, her neighbouring clerk, was sympathetic. "If ever I have to deal with him me fingers start to twitch from where they'd like to be round his throat."

Martina smiled. "At least he's less aggravating than his cousin. Have you had the pleasure yet?"

"No, but she," she jerked her right thumb, "can't keep her eyes off him."

"His file's come today. Perhaps we should direct her to it."

The doors shut after the last client and the three of them looked up as one, identical expressions of relief on their faces.

"Can I get you two coffees?" Tracey the youngest clerk, just nineteen, got to her feet.

"Please." Martina held up her mug, a Tranmere Rovers one, bought by her brother in a rare bout of sobriety, as a reminder of a standing family joke.

"Thanks." Carole held up hers. As the eldest of the three she kept a motherly eye on the other two, and she was concerned about Tracey mooning round after the latest Boswell to come through their doors.

"Tracey luv, please would you go through the new files that have come in, check through them, add our notes, then make out permanent cards."

Martina shot her an approving glance. Shifty had managed to push her buttons several times already, and going by what Joey had said he wasn't suitable for a young girl. She could see the attraction though. He was the sort she'd got a proven track record in going for, and being let down by. He had the free and easy manner that her last boyfriend had, and if she was honest, his charms might have worked had Joey not spoken about him, causing her to view them in a more cautious light.

As five o'clock came the DHSS emptied of staff, along with the rest of the buildings on the site. Martina made her way down to Strand Street, oblivious of Shifty standing by a parked car in Canning Place. He got in and drove slowly after her. He didn't like being rebuffed and this woman had been turning him down ever since he'd set eyes on her. He noted her going into the Albert Dock, and turned in, wincing as he drove over the setts.

"Oh, so that's how the land lies, so it is." He spotted her getting into Joey's car, and did a smart u-turn. No point following her now and getting into another fight with Joey. He returned the car to the spot he'd nicked it from earlier, and made his way to the bus station. May as well go back to Kelsall Street.

"Where'd you want to go?" Joey pulled into the main road.

"I don't mind."

He drove down to Princes Park, and took her hand as they walked towards the lake.

"So, Shifty?" Joey asked tentatively.

"I gave him an emergency payment order the first day he came down Joey, but he hasn't had a giro yet. His file only came in today. It won't go out till next Tuesday at the earliest. In fact he must be about due another emergency payment."

"I knew it. I just knew it. He had a wad of cash and said he'd collected his money from you yesterday. Ar'ey it's not on. I don't want the bizzies knocking at me grandad's door, or giving me mam a load of grief. She's got enough on her plate." Joey frowned.

"You knew it was a risk taking him in." She smiled at him.

"Yeah I did, but he's.."

"Fami-l-y." She interrupted with a laugh and a roll of her eyes.

"Well he is."

She shook her head disbelievingly and shrugged.

"Has he been pissing you off?" Joey led her to a seat and sat down, pulling her in close to him, revelling in her closeness.

"Just a bit. First off he's got the quick silver tongue like the rest of you. Then he tries to give me a bloody brooch. He's been in asking me to lunch practically every day since you bought him down, and today he wanted to take me for a picnic at Rufford Old Hall, said he'd borrowed a car." Martina reeled off.

"Who from?" Joey was on the alert.

"He said a friend."

"Like hell it was. Did you go?" Joey managed to sound near to normal, but not quite near enough for Martina to be unaware of an undercurrent in his tone.

"No, I pointed out it's closed on Fridays." She looked at him appraisingly, trying to work out exactly what was bothering him the most. The almost certainly stolen car, or the thought that she might have accepted an invitation from his cousin.

Joey squeezed her closer. "As if things aren't bad enough at home at the minute without Shifty and his nonsense."

"How come?"

"Apart from everything else me dad's found out he's got a bad heart. He's meant to be taking it easy, but me mam can't seem to be round him without having a go and starting a row. He's meant to be keeping calm and not get over excited. But he doesn't want the family to know, and me mam won't stop shouting at him, then he shouts back, and, well…." Joey stopped, he didn't want to go there.

"It never rains, but it pours." Martina was aware of how inadequate that platitude sounded.

"Yeah." He kissed the top of her head. He could have cheerfully sat like this all night, but he ought to check everything was ok at home. "Right, I'd better get you back before I go and see what disasters have befallen us today."

"Joey, I don't mind walking if you want to get off." Martina could see how stressed he was and didn't want to add to it. There were times, and this was one of them, when she felt genuinely sorry for Joey.

"Sweetheart I don't want to, but I need to. And of course I'll drop you." Joey was moved by her thoughtfulness.

He pulled up outside her flat and leant over as she was undoing her seat belt to give her a kiss. A little too long and too deep for a friendly goodbye kiss.

She eased away. "See you Joey."

"Martina," he took her hand, and pulled her back. "I, er, I, oh,"

She looked at him understandingly. "You need to get back Joey. I'll see you."

She disengaged her hand and got out of the car. She wasn't sure what it was he was trying to say, but she would never have believed, given how gobby she'd always found him at work, that he could be quite so inarticulate around her.

By the time Joey got back he was in a foul mood, God help anyone who crossed him tonight. So he was not best pleased to see Shifty skulking in the street as he parked. He got into the car behind Joey.

"Are you playing around with Martina Joey?"

"What makes you ask that Shifty?" Joey was amazed, how the hell did he know? He couldn't imagine Martina had said anything.

"Well are you?" Shifty was persistent.

"I'm not playing around with her. I am seeing her, sort of." Joey spoke slowly and clearly, without turning to face him.

"Sort of? I see. Makes more sense now so it does." He lapsed into a momentary silence. "Do you know what she said when I tried to give her the brooch of love?"

"No, what?" Joey couldn't help grinning. He could just envisage her.

"She said, so she did, 'Mr offshoot of the Boswell family, this is the DHSS, and under government rules any gifts worth more than £5 have to be handed in to our regional office. Now I'm sure you don't want your brooch to be sitting in their strong-room, so you hang onto it.' I mean, can you believe it?"

Joey laughed. "Sounds just like her."

"The thing is Joey, she's a good one." Shifty leant forward, an oily, sanctimonious look on his face. "And you're keeping her hanging about. You should cop out and give her the chance to get with some-one decent like me."

Joey nearly choked. "You know what Shifty, if it was anybody else I might agree. But it is you, so I won't. I might not be much good but you're far worse."

"Oh, so I'm different to the rest of the world am I? I've got two heads have I?"

"Face facts Shifty, you should come with a government health warning."

"Yeah but Joey, we all know if Roxy were to ring right now and invite you over, we wouldn't see your arse for dust. And what about her, Martina, then?" And on that note he threw Joey a filthy look and stomped into number twenty-eight.

Joey sat perfectly still. The truth of Shifty's words hit him like an iron punch.


	9. Chapter 9

**a/n Joey gets some resolution around Roxy, but begins to worry about his relationship with Martina.**

Chapter 9

Joey flinched slightly. He particularly hated being around the pimps. He knew they were a part of the world he worked in, but he always tried to have as little to do with them as possible, avoiding this particular club where they congregated. However, this job was in lieu of the favour he'd had from Alastair Grainger, so he had to see it through.

Still, at least he now knew that Roxy had already been pregnant when he'd started up with her again, so that was one thing less to worry about. He was sorry though that she'd lost her baby, but if it wasn't Stan's perhaps it was for the best. As for the lad, well, according to the blood combination charts Michael had shown him, it was possible that he'd fathered him. But going on the dates that Alastair had provided him with it was unlikely, although Joey couldn't be completely certain that he hadn't slept with her over the timeframe. They'd been on and off so often around then. He suspected she'd got pregnant in one of their frequent off phases and legged it rather than face him. He wasn't sure if a big part of him regretted that she hadn't bluffed it out and pretended it was his, he doubted if he'd have suspected anything. They'd have had to get on and make a go of things then. Still she hadn't, and there was of course a slim chance that the boy was his, not that he could prove that one way or the other. He'd just have to draw a line under it all, stop feeling so sorry for himself and get on with life.

He kept his eyes on Michael, who was deep in conversation with the proprietor, and responded instantly to Michael's unspoken summons.

"God that was rough." Joey had been in some dodgy situations in his time, but wasn't sure he'd ever witnessed quite so much violence meted out to one person.

Michael replaced his jacket and shot his cuffs. "He'll survive." He straightened his tie. "More's the pity."

"Oh? What's he done to upset Alastair? I wouldn't have thought their worlds collided." Joey rolled his sleeves down and was curious to know what had prompted such seemingly gratuitous violence.

"Botched termination." Michael spoke shortly.

Joey frowned, he wasn't sure what to say.

"He runs young girls. If anything goes wrong he sorts it himself. This time with near fatal consequences. Alastair might be amoral but even he has his limits."

Joey was shocked beyond belief. Christ how awful. This was a dark underbelly he definitely wanted never to have to think about.

"Is she alright?"

"Medically on the mend. In a former life Alastair was trauma surgeon in the army. He's actually bloody good. I met him when he was stationed in Ulster. Psychologically though, who knows?" He shrugged.

"Were you in the army as well?" Joey wanted to turn the conversation away from something he found so distasteful and disturbing.

"Not exactly, Military Intelligence." Michael was reticent.

They returned to Michael's car. A black 1968 Rover 3.5 Coupe, nearly as stylish as Joey's beloved 1967 Mark 2 Jaguar. "Home Joey or do you need a drink?"

"I wouldn't mind a drink thanks."

Joey sank back into the chair. This was the first time Michael had ever given away any information about his background. Joey was intrigued, why would a couple of army types opt for a life of criminal activity? They had plenty of alternatives open to them for a decent living. Joey was well aware that he could never attain the lifestyle he had by legal means. He didn't have the qualifications for a start, or the background. He was pretty sure they were both university educated, public schoolboys, they must have had the opportunities to do anything they liked.

"I know what you're thinking." Michael smiled wolfishly over his drink. "Excitement Joey. Civilian life can be very dull. And we, or I at any rate, knew just how rotten the establishment is, so it became a matter of pride to beat them at their own game. Being gay in the services forces you into secrecy and subterfuge so eventually it becomes a part of you."

"Why Liverpool?"

"It's a port city, more tolerant, live and let live attitude. No one knew us. And it's got the right feel. When the docks used casual labour people had to do all sorts to get by, it becomes cultural."

"Oh."

"Take yourself, there's no work out there so you sort yourself out an alternative. It's in your blood, in the very air you breathe. East London's the same. The docks go, people find alternative ways to supplement their dole."

He smiled reflectively. "Few months after the Royals closed they couldn't work out why the security guards kept reporting flooding. The PLA dredged them. Know what they found?"

Joey shook his head.

"Cars. They were chock full of cars. High end, mainly insurance scams, or used on jobs then disposed of." He laughed. "Initiative, see? Living off your wits. Not like the pit or manufacturing towns. They've been used to clocking on, off, regular wage packet Saturday lunchtime. Jobs go, there's nothing. It's a downward spiral."

Joey nodded, he had a vague idea what Michael was talking about.

"So, changing the subject, how's things? You seem more relaxed."

"Yeah, well it's been a weight off me mind, now I know her pregnancy was nothing to do with me, and the lads unlikely to be mine either. Thanks for that."

"My pleasure Joey. How are you feeling?"

"Ok."

"In other words, mind your own business Michael." He smiled.

Joey laughed. "No it's not that, it's just I'm ok-ish. I'm still quite," he paused. "Numb, I suppose is the best word I can think of. I sort of feel there's a, I dunno, a fog between me and the world. And sometimes it's like a mist I can reach through and other times it feels like it's thick and heavy and keeping me apart. Does that make sense?"

"Perfect sense."

"And I still feel unsettled. Though I've been hanging around with someone a bit and that's helped, in a way."

Michael's look went right through him.

"And is she ok with you using her like that?"

"I'm not using her." Joey was stung.

"No?"

"No. I mean I didn't turn her down, but I didn't seduce her either. She made the first move." Joey went on the defensive.

"So it's convenient. Not like you Joey to be thoughtless."

"I'm not, she knows how things are. I haven't lied about anything. She's a grown woman, more than capable of making her own mind up."

Joey felt this just wasn't fair. First Shifty, who was to women what Margaret Thatcher was to the miners, and now Michael, who was unlikely to have ever slept with a woman in his life.

"You know what you are doing Joey, but take care. For your sake as well as hers." Michael was conciliatory.

Joey gave a small smile. He finished his drink and stood up. "See you soon."

Instead of driving home, he drove down to Otterspool and leant over the rail, absently watching a swarm of river rats scurry about on the low tide mud.

He didn't want to be unfair to Martina, he really didn't. He was finding it such a relief to be with her, especially with everything that was going on at home. What with Adrian and Billy constantly rowing, leaving home, coming back, his dad and Lilo Lil, then Aveline suddenly dressing like a fifties suburban housewife, there was more than enough to keep him busy. He was as shocked as anyone when Adrian got his poems published, and was irritated at him for nearly getting arrested after being daft on his motorbike. Luckily he'd been driving past and had been able to distract the bizzies. And fancy Celia turning out to be Shifty's ex. His mam had told him all about it, how Celia was out for revenge. He couldn't say he felt any sympathy for Shifty, he was still sore at him for what he'd said about Roxy. Trouble was he knew it was true, and wasn't it said that the truth hurts?


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

As Joey felt the warmth from the water seep into his skin, he could feel the last of the tension leaving him.

He closed his eyes, the hassle he'd had recently with his mam and dad. He hated seeing Nellie ground down by Freddie's antics so much, that he'd finally told his dad to stay away. He knew why his dad was with Lilo Lil, he even had a fair amount of sympathy for him, but at the end of the day it just wasn't fair on his mam, all the uncertainty. It might have succeeded had those two divvies, Adrian and Billy, not been arrested for selling stolen videos. Freddie had come straight home as soon as he'd heard, and of course it had ended in a row. Shifty had reverted to type and nicked a car, lost control of it and ended up with it in someone's lounge. He'd been at the DHSS trying to persuade Martina that she should let him claim for a cleaner for grandad, when his mam had rung him to say the three of them were at the police station and needed collecting. Joey had jumped up mid flow, apologised to her for having to leave mid interview, irrelevant really, he knew he got on her nerves from a work viewpoint, and made a ridiculous marriage proposal. He'd been rewarded with a shaken head, raised eyebrows and a sardonic smile. She'd approved his claim though. He'd just got back with them when Aveline teetered in, sobbing that Oswald had broken off with her. No wonder he'd been feeling tense. Short of his dad having a heart attack he couldn't imagine things getting any worse at home.

The only bright spot was Martina. He was enjoying being around her, she was sharp and witty, liked a good laugh, and was relaxed enough around sex to make it fun again. A phrase of Jack's came back to him, one he'd used to Adrian when he was struggling with Carmen. 'Sex is natures trick, it's getting it right and getting it wrong and laughing in between.' Kind of summed up how it was working with Martina. She didn't just lay there mute then vaguely infer that he was doing nothing for her. She left him in no doubt what she liked and what she didn't. After all the knocks he taken from Roxy over the years, Joey was just starting to get his confidence back.

He'd thought long and hard about Shifty's and Michael's words. Whereas he didn't feel Michael had any personal axe to grind, he wasn't so certain about Shifty. He knew Shifty fancied her. After tormenting himself over the whole set up with Martina, to the point where he almost did back off, after all he didn't intend for Martina to be one more problem to add to his growing list, he'd come to the conclusion he should just talk to her. In the end he managed, after several false starts, to stammer out what he was trying to say. Martina looked taken aback, pointed out that she was looking for an uncomplicated friendship, not a life partner, was well aware of Roxy, his family, and all the baggage he was carrying and was quite happy with the way things were. She told Joey if it still felt ok to him then to not bother about what anyone else thought or said. Not that she worded it quite like that. When pushed Martina had a capacity for language that would have put a Liverpool docker to shame. She could easily drink him under the table, had thrashed him at darts, and could hold her own playing snooker and pool. She'd even managed to best him at poker on one occasion, much to his surprise. It was like being with a good mate, only better. It's not like she wasn't sexy either, and when they'd gone to Manchester to see the Halle Orchestra, both in their best evening wear, he'd felt privileged to be accompanying her. She'd been encouraging him to try out different things as well. He'd gone with her and Ev to see some character called eek-a-mouse play at The Silver Sands club, something he wouldn't have dreamed of doing in a million years, but much to his surprise he'd thoroughly enjoyed it. He'd even danced, something he'd always been too self-conscious to do before. And she was a bloody good cook, the vegetarian meals she made were brilliant. It was worthwhile being expected to wash up to eat like that. Not that Nellie didn't try, but the rest of the family protested at any 'foreign' food being served up at home. Odd really, given that they were all happy to eat a variety of take-aways, apart from granddad of course, who complained bitterly about 'fancy foreign muck' and would only accept meals from the chippy without protest. And Nellie would definitely have taken it as an insult that her dishes weren't good enough if he'd dared to suggest any changes. At home his dinners mainly consisted of mushrooms, vegetables, potatoes and the occasional blind scouse.

They'd had their differences though, but Martina would tell him straight if something was bugging her. After Roxy's machinations Joey found it refreshing to be able to talk through any issues openly. He knew just where he stood, and he was liking it.

He sank lower down into the water, disturbing Martina, who flicked his arm.

"Sorry sweetheart." His half-hearted apology left her rolling her eyes as she adjusted herself to his new position.

He returned to his thoughts. He'd got the flat now and at a ridiculously low price. Martina had been right, they'd needed a cash buyer and as they were thin on the ground Joey had negotiated a hefty discount. He prided himself on being good with wires and he and Martina had spent the day rewiring. They'd had a good time, relaxed, enjoyable, what his dad would have called a green light day. Another of Martina's unexpected talents had shown itself in her plastering. She'd got a virtually professional finish over the ducting. Joey had been delighted, he could never have matched that. He'd have spent hours sanding it back. They'd had to come back to hers to clean up though as he hadn't dealt with any of the plumbing. Hopefully it wouldn't be long before he got his act together and sorted out the rest of the things that needed doing, so he could have his own little haven to escape to when it all got too much at home. He didn't know why he hadn't got going, it was unlike him to prevaricate over things like this. Actually he did know why, just didn't want to think about it, he was enjoying being at Martina's too much. Whilst his place wasn't ready, he had the perfect excuse to be at hers when he needed a break from the family.

He gently nuzzled her neck, just where he knew she liked it. She turned over and fixed her mouth to his sending his mind spinning off in a totally different direction, and water splashing all over the floor.

* * *

Joey put the cash into his inside pocket, job done, and checked the time. Much earlier than he'd expected. He drove down to Canning Street on the off chance that Martina was about.

She was, and they were now enjoying a pleasant glass of wine in her garden in the balmy, if overcast, evening.

Whilst they were chatting a youthful shout of "Teeny," rang out. A small boy came charging across the garden and threw himself at Martina. She caught him and her face broke into a smile.

"Kai, angel." He beamed at her, as she lifted him into her lap.

"Tina luv, look at this." A young woman came up from the basement carrying a baby. She held it in one hand whilst she fumbled in her pocket.

"Here, just hold her for a second luv." She plonked the baby in Joey's unready arms. He felt awkward, he'd barely held a baby since Billy. He blinked. "Hello, what's your name then?"

The baby looked gravely at him.

"Chenet." Martina supplied taking the proffered letter. She examined it carefully. "That's wonderful news Loretta, luv."

"Thanks so much for your help. I'm sure we wouldn't have got it if you hadn't helped us with the form and written that letter for us." She hugged and kissed Martina, and became more aware of Joey. She looked at Martina, her eyebrows raised in an unspoken question.

Martina shook her head. "Loretta this is Joey, Joey Loretta."

They smiled at each other. She reached out for her daughter and son, and squeezed Martina's shoulder. "Must get these into bed. Speak to you later luv."

With a final wave they disappeared back into the basement. Joey hadn't missed the unspoken question or response, Martina had obviously confided something to this woman, but he was dithering about whether to raise the subject of her last relationship with her again.

"I didn't think you liked children." He tried a gentle tease.

She smiled. "Just because I don't want any of me own, doesn't mean I don't like them. Other peoples are fine. I'm an honorary aunt to these two, it's not like me brother's likely to have any. But the good thing is, I can play with them and spoil them, then give them back."

She poured them both another drink. Joey accepted his with a solemn, "now that'll put me over the limit. I'll just have to stay again."

She smirked. "I'd assumed you were."

Martina looked at Joey, asleep next to her, noting the dark circles round his eyes, mirroring her own. She reached out to caress him, he responded.

Afterwards, finding sleep elusive, she marvelled anew at the ability of the human male to react to the slightest physical simulation, yet be so unresponsive to everything else around them. According to Celia and Nellie it was only their stomachs and dangly bits that worked. Martina, had she known of their comments, would have added gob to that list. Actually, she admitted to herself, that was unfair on Joey. He was acutely aware of the slightest changes around him, even if he seemed to struggle over what to do or say about them at times.

"You can talk to me you know."

Martina jumped, she'd thought Joey had gone back to sleep.

He shifted onto his back and lifted her over him, brushing her hair away from her face with his fingers and kissing the top of her head, before encircling her with his arms and squeezing her close.

"Everything's fine Joey." Martina managed to speak in a neutral tone.

"No, it's not. You're talking to the man who's spent the last I don't know how many years pretending. I can tell bull when I see it." He opened his eyes and looked at her.

She dropped her gaze and shook her head.

"If I start I won't stop."

"Perhaps you need to get it out of your system." Joey continued to look at her.

"No Joey. I've built up scaffolding round me and if I loosen it I might pour out altogether and end up back on the floor. Thanks though." She could feel his eyes on her.

"It's ok sweetheart, but when you do feel ready, talk to me, eh?" Joey spoke softly.

She nodded, not that she had any intention of making herself vulnerable to anyone ever again, even if Joey was quite gentle and tender underneath all the macho leather.


	11. Chapter 11

**a/n**

 **It was clear from episode 9 that Joey knew from the off who had written the note, but why no-one else considered Roxy always seemed strange. I've never been able to decide if the others are too selfish to be concerned for Joey, or too immature and/or inadequate to cope with the idea that Joey might not been infallible. They never gave any impression of much compassion towards him, just expected him to get on with sorting out life's little problems for them. (My big sister says she's always had to get us out of trouble - there's six of us - the rest of us say she just likes bossing us about! I'm number 3 so I don't know how hard it is being the eldest.)**

"Well, what can I say mam? It isn't signed?" Joey looked up from the note Nellie had handed him. What had he thought to himself the other week, things couldn't get any worse? Looked like they just had.

Nellie couldn't believe he'd just said that. Surely he knew who it was from.

Joey stared at the note, it didn't need a signature, he knew that writing, Roxy.

"What difference does it make? Either you have got someone pregnant or you haven't." Nellie was aggravated with him. He must have some idea. Nellie tried to push away the thought that had sprung into her mind the minute she'd read it. Roxy and her lad. The little boy with the big fearful eyes, silent despite her best efforts to coax him to speak more than 'yes' and 'no', 'please' and 'thank you', on the night he'd stayed with them. At the time she'd wondered if he was her grandson, she hadn't seen any resemblance to any of the family but he seemed like he could be the right age to be Joey's. The vagueness of his reply shook Nellie. Just how many women could be a contender?

"Well, I don't know do I? How should I know?" Joey could barely keep a civil tongue to answer his mam. His mind had gone racing away.

"You mean there could be a whole batch of little Joeys out there?" Nellie voiced her indignation, and it kept her mind off the possibility that the letter had come from Roxy.

"No I don't mean that, but well, I'm a young man. I've had a few," he caught Nellie's look, "a lot and some times things go wrong." He managed, just about, to keep his patience with his mam. What game did Roxy think she was playing now?

Nellie sat down defeated. "Nothing would surprise me anymore, so what's one more problem going to matter?"

Joey looked at his mam, he could see how distressed she was. The underlying anger that he'd been feeling about Roxy bubbled up again. "It does matter mam. This note is a lie and you can leave me to sort it out. Now let's have a nice family dinner like we used to with our Billy's gob in the lead." Joey could hear the rest of the family coming in.

"Do you want me to keep it between ourselves?" Nellie was furtive.

"No, I've listened to their problems for long enough. Let them listen to one of mine for a change." What the point of saying that was Joey didn't know. There was no way they'd be the slightest help. He obviously wasn't thinking straight.

Joey gripped his cup, he'd been right. No one had been the slightest help and he'd had to endure a dinner of excruciating embarrassment. What with Adrian going on about Carman, Aveline whinging about having babies, Billy blundering on about how nice it was being a father, offering congratulations, then complaining about Julie, and Shifty oozing sympathy, before admitting that he had a lad himself that he saw sometimes, his problem had, as usual, been dismissed. His mind went back to Shifty. So what with the three engagements, Celia, and now this women, Shifty had hardly been keeping it to himself over the last few years, and he'd had the nerve to lecture him about his behaviour. And his mam, Joey knew just how upset and disappointed she was.

"Right see you later mam. Don't worry ok?"

He left to sit in his car. He took his phone out.

"Michael? Can I come over to you? Whereabouts? Is now ok? Cheers."

He started up and drove off.

Sat in Michael's elegant first floor parlour, cup and saucer in hand, La Traviata playing softly in the background, Joey's mind wandered around. No, parlour wasn't the right word. What was, sitting room, drawing room, reception room? Joey wasn't sure, but it was a world away from Kelsall Street. The last time he was here, to take his mind off the evening they'd had, Michael had told him how a 'portion' had discovered the original iron balconies to this room, rusting away in a corner of the garden. Joey had questioned the use of the word 'portion', and had been amused by the explanation. Never mind different world this was a whole different universe. He was doing it himself now, random thoughts to keep his mind away from Roxy.

Michael returned bearing a folder. "Are you sure you want this Joey? It won't make pretty reading."

"Yeah I know, but I have to resolve this." He sounded determined.

A touch reluctantly Michael handed it over and sat in the chair facing Joey, watching him carefully.

"Thanks." Joey accepted the folder.

He read through silently, making one or two notes. The amount of detail it contained shook him. There was stuff there he didn't know about her and he'd known her for years. How on earth had Michael got so much information? Then Joey remembered him saying he'd been in military intelligence. And Michael was right, it didn't make comfortable reading. He forced his mind back to the matter in hand. "So I could catch her as she finishes work this afternoon." He handed it back. "Thanks."

Michael had been watching him. "Do you want me to deal with this Joey?"

Joey managed a wan smile. "No. I need to sort this. But thanks though."

"Do you want me to accompany you?"

Joey was tempted, but it would just be another stick to beat him with if Roxy thought he needed to have his hand held. She'd always accused him of being a mummy's boy as it was. She'd have a field day if he took Michael with him. He shook his head. "No, I have to deal with it myself." He gave a tiny, strained smile.

"Take care of yourself in all this Joey." Michael looked at him anxiously.

"I will yeah. I just don't know what she thinks she's playing at, sending this to me mam." He finished his coffee.

"To get at you Joey, obviously. She knows your Achilles heel." Michael looked surprised that Joey would even need to ask this question.

"Right I'm gonna go and speak to her and find out just what she's up to to." His voice unwavering, undeterred by the task ahead.

"Like I said, watch out." Michael saw him to the door. "Oh, and by the way, there's a lucrative little contract coming up and I could do with a bit of support, if you're interested."

Joey nodded, he realised Michael was trying to help by giving him something else to think about, but work with him so often involved straying into territories Joey preferred to stay out of. Still it did always pay well. He clasped his hand and left.

He saw Roxy straight away, walking quickly, and pulled alongside her.

"Roxy, can I talk to you?" He tried to keep the mixed emotions he was feeling, the anger, nervousness, disdain, out of his voice.

"What about Joey. I'm late picking up the kid." She looked at him, eyes wide, liquid pools to lose him in.

But she got in. "Go on then."

"Look at me." He ordered.

"I don't particularly want to." She kept looking towards the window.

"I need to see your face." Joey was intent on getting the truth from her this time.

Reluctantly she turned her eyes.

"This." He brandished the letter at her. He was finding it hard to keep his temper in check.

"Another game, Joey." She was dismissive and went to get out of the car.

And that response only made it harder. He stopped her.

"It's your writing Roxy. I know your writing. Didn't you think of that? God you're hopeless."

He stopped, needing to get a grip on himself, before he said things he knew he would regret.

"And why send it to mam? Why should she be hurt?"

Roxy was aware of his mood, his temper had always concerned her, so she went straight on the offensive.

"Because she hurt me by always coming first. Mam this, mam that"

"I loved you Roxy." Joey couldn't believe he'd put it in the past tense when he was still very much in love with her. It had just come out like that.

"Love? You talk as though you understood what the word means." She practically spat the words out.

Joey had to get away from the question of love else he knew he'd take her in his arms, kiss her and tell her it didn't matter and everything would be fine. He steeled himself. "So am I? The father?"

"Four years ago when you left me,"

"In between you leaving me," Joey interrupted.

"I was pregnant. I met Stan, he didn't mind. We got married. He never asked who the father was, but when I got pregnant again he wouldn't believe it was his. Then I met you again and you know the rest. I lost his baby."

A typical Roxy swerve. He knew the last sentence was a lie. Aborted she should have said.

He followed on. "Why didn't you tell me before?"

"There was no need, Stan had accepted it. We were happy."

She was still being evasive, her words open to interpretation when he wanted a yes or a no. He spotted a little chink and took advantage. "Why now?"

"Stan's left me."

He sensed the vulnerability, it was now or never to get the truth. He went in for the kill. He repeated himself. "So am I?"

"Yes."

Oh God, his mind collapsed in on itself, a series of disjointed scenes flashed past, dissolving into each other and mutating into nightmare scenarios. Before he had a chance to get himself together he heard her say,

"No, no, no."

Finally, the truth. The visions exited, to be replaced by nothing. No thoughts, no images, a vacuum where his brain had been. His emotions froze, time stood still. His breathing suspended.

"I live in a bedsit for Christ's sake, my child goes to nursery in the morning and me mam's in the afternoon. At night I read him a crappy story. And that's his life. We need someone, something." He heard her as though his ears were full of water, her voice echoing, only dimly aware of the sheer desperation in her voice.

So that was it, she needed someone to support them now Stan had gone, and she'd thought she'd try it on. If she'd explained the situation to him honestly, without involving his mam and cutting out all the lies and games, he'd have helped them out willingly.

There was a potent silence. Roxy unsure if she'd overplayed her hand, Joey frantically trying to get back on an even keel after the hammering he'd just taken.

Regardless of everything she'd said and done to him, it was not in Joey's nature to ignore someone in distress, let alone the women that he'd spent a good part of his adult life loving.

Joey broke it. "I'll help you."

She went to speak, he silenced her with a wave. "It's only money. That's all I can give you now."

She got out of the car, without saying anything and Joey drove off quickly, jaw clenched, eyes focused ahead. He didn't dare look in the mirror in case what he saw tugged on his wrecked heart and he turned back to her.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

If he thought he'd felt battered and bruised before it was nothing to how he was now feeling. Like he'd been churned up in a washing machine and wrung out through a mangle.

Joey wasn't sure how he'd made it through the last week, keeping up the pretence that he had everything under control, when all he wanted to do was crawl into a dark hole and hide away forever. Yesterday he'd driven to Burton Marsh, found a deserted hide, locked the door and sat in the corner and cried until he'd no more tears left to fall. The nights he'd spent lying rigid in bed, holding back the sobs so the others wouldn't hear. He hadn't had more than a couple of hours fitful sleep either, and any food he'd been able to force through his lips had turned to grit in his mouth. Looking in the mirror this morning he hardly recognised the reflection staring back at him. Sunken eyes, hollowed cheeks, shirt hanging off him.

And oh God, the family were doing his head in. Billy and Adrian constantly arguing. Celia having a go at Shifty, his mam having a go at all of them. Billy and Julie rowing whenever they saw each other. First one, then another. Surely they couldn't think that he was unaffected by everything that had happened? Did they believe he had no feelings, no emotions? Couldn't or wouldn't they see the state he was in? Wasn't he allowed to have a life of his own like the rest of them?

He had no one who wanted him, just for himself. He knew his mam loved him, too much probably. She took care of him, he'd never had to cook or clean or shop, but it wasn't the relationship he was craving. She was his mam after all. And his family loved him without reservation, he knew that, but to them he was the fixer, the one who sorted everything and everyone. They'd never be able to manage if he admitted to his problems, so he'd got into the habit of pretending he could cope with anything. He'd been so successful that none of them stopped to think that actually he might not be sound. They all knew what had happened, some of it had been so public, they'd all read the letter. But not one of them had checked to see what had happened or if he needed anything. It was like they couldn't face him not being strong and capable, as though the whole family edifice would come crashing down if he was shown to have any weak spots. The shock on their faces when he'd walked out. He desperately wanted a special person, like everyone did he supposed, and for years he'd invested everything in Roxy. They'd been happy enough at first, in fact they'd shared some wonderful times together. But she'd never been able to accept his family. It was all or nothing with her and he'd worn himself into the ground trying to reconcile the two. And he was still reeling from his latest run in with Roxy. The letter, the meeting when he'd finally got the truth, and that last fateful encounter.

He shut his eyes, clamping his lips tight to make sure nothing escaped them. First one whining on, then another, and finally Aveline prattling on about him being wise and not screwed up about love. That did it, he couldn't sit there any longer, not without breaking down and screaming at them. He just had to get away and made some excuse about leaving the car unlocked and needing to see to it.

He unlocked, got in and took out his phone. He stared at it. He should never have touched Roxy, just that momentary caress, his hand on her face, telling her there'd never been anyone else. All the old feelings came flooding back, overwhelming him. He'd been hoping to slip the envelope with the money in through the letterbox, but she'd opened the door. He managed to avoid her invitations in, but her sad, regretful voice telling him she was sorry she'd lost him nearly blew his resolve. If only he'd kept his hand to himself and his gob shut. Then her hand touching his, a fleeting moment before he moved his away. It would have been the work of but a moment to turn back, to go through the door to her. It'd taken all his willpower to keep facing away and walk back down the steps.

He screwed up his eyes, breath coming in rasps as he struggled to control his tears. He slammed his phone back on the seat, his mind in turmoil, his emotions yo-yoing about. Roxy, oh Roxy.

He watched Mongy come lolloping up the street and in at number thirty. He rested his head back, eyes unfocused as he faced down the street. A movement on the river caught his eye. He squinted, a tug, perhaps heading for Garston, where a ship or two still birthed. All those ships, all the dock wallopers, gone never to return. Life was short, nothing was permanent, nothing guaranteed, except death and tax, he curled his lip, even he had to pay VAT sometimes on his purchases. Grab some happiness while you can, before death claims you.

His hand strayed back to the phone, a momentary stalling, then he couldn't hold back any longer. He dialled.

"Hello?" He paused waiting for the response, "I need you."


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

"Extension 647"

"Joey?"

"I'm at work. I can't just walk out in the middle of the afternoon, whatever your particular needs happen to be." Martina frowned, he sounded dreadful. "I'll meet you just after five at The Pump House if you like."

"Ok sweetheart I'll pick you up there. Bye."

She put the receiver down, concerned about him, and presented an even frostier face than usual to her clients.

Joey disconnected and pressed the phone to his chest, exhaling deeply as he did so.

Martina he just wanted, no needed, her. Thank God she'd said yes. He'd come to rely on her as his safety valve, an oasis of sanity in the chaos that was his world. Not only did he have Roxy, he had an entire family to pull him under. Much as he loved them, right now they were all getting to him in one way or another, even his mam.

He looked at his watch. 2 o'clock. Three hours to kill. He decided to clean the Jag, not that it needed it but it would keep him occupied and hopefully alone. His siblings knew better than to interfere with his car cleaning. He wasn't best pleased therefore when Shifty slid up to him offering to help, then suggesting a little chat. After managing to see him off before he could go on about Martina, he guessed he'd be better off away from Kelsall Street. So he drove into town and made his way to the Walker to mooch around the galleries.

Time to drive down to The Pump House. He'd just got there when he saw Martina walking towards him. He opened the door for her, and the minute she sat down pulled her into a tight embrace and kissed her for all he was worth.

When she'd got her breath back, Martina grinned, "I think we'd better get back to mine, before we get arrested for indecent behaviour."

Joey laughed, for the first time since Roxy's letter had landed on the mat.

"Probably wise sweetheart, probably wise." He turned back to the wheel and pulled smoothly away.

During the journey Martina kept the conversation light and flowing, for which Joey was profoundly grateful. Something he'd noticed about Martina, she didn't hassle him, if he wanted to talk she'd listen, but if not she wouldn't go on at him.

He practically dragged her into the bedroom, so desperate was he to loose himself in her. Later, still clutching at her as though he was a drowning man, grateful for the warmth and strength he was drawing from her, he became aware that she was gently stroking the back of his neck. It gave him the feeling that at last there was some one who cared about how he was. He kept his eyes shut tight. He had to get away from the family, Kelsall Street, Liverpool generally, if only for a couple of days. And he felt the necessity for Martina to be with him.

"Are you doing anything tomorrow?" He spoke unexpectedly.

"Working."

Come away with me for a few days."

"I can't Joey, I'm working."

"Haven't you got any holiday due?"

"I haven't booked all me leave, but Joey you have to put in for your leave and get it approved. You can't just take time off, especially this time of year." She shook her head and started laughing.

Even though her words weren't what he wanted to hear, her laughter was infectious, and he had to smile.

"Yeah, I suppose it'd be chaotic."

"Can you imagine it? I'm sorry Mr Wilson, the entire counter staff have decided to take some leave today, along with half the back office, so there's no one to assess your claim or process it. You could try again tomorrow. But we don't know yet who's coming in." She was using her most patronising DHSS tones.

"That's where working for yourself scores." Joey spoke without thinking, felt her snort and added quickly, "or being part of the unemployed mass."

He could feel himself starting to regain some balance.

He opened his eyes. "What about the weekend? We could go Friday after you finish work, come back Sunday evening."

"Yeah, I don't see why not. We could go to The Lakes or North Wales, not too long a drive."

"I'll see what I can sort out first thing tomorrow."

He kissed her again, and again, unwilling to break contact with her.

Martina was thoughtful. At least she was secure on her raft, poor Joey kept being pulled off. She wondered what had caused this particular wave to crash over him. Whatever it was it seemed to have disorientated him completely. She wondered if it had anything to do with Roxy. Still, if he wanted to tell her, he would in due course. It wasn't in her nature to pry.

* * *

Joey sat in his car watching the stream of people leaving the various Canning Place council offices, trying to spot Martina. Friday evenings she tried to get away as near to 4pm as she could. He already had her case in the boot so they could get off as soon as she finished. It was only the thought of getting some time away with Martina that had kept him going the last couple of days. To add to his own pressures Billy had fallen victim to some sort of nerve storm, which had exploded when he'd found an injured pigeon. Because Billy ranted on all the time about every minor thing, no one ever took him seriously, even Joey, and he felt guilty that the lad obviously had been genuinely distressed and he'd taken no notice. He sighed, still at least Aveline and Oswald had sorted themselves out and, much to Nellie's disappointment, their wedding was back on.

The opening of his passenger door made him start. It was Martina, lost in his own world he had missed her approach.

She leant over and kissed him as she was fastening her seatbelt.

He gave a weak smile. "Right then, let's be off."

* * *

Joey dropped Martina at work Monday morning and drove home.

He felt reasonably ready to face whatever was on the other side of that door. He'd had a great weekend in Wales. They'd stayed in a nice little place in Kinmel Bay and had spent some time Saturday climbing Moel Famau. They had been making a leisurely way up when they were overtaken by a couple of pensioners striding it out. He had grinned at Martina and the subversive thought crossed his mind that that could be them in thirty years. He nudged her. "If that's old age lead me to it."

Martina grinned at him. "They're outpacing you at any rate."

He pulled a face. "Sweetheart, it's not a race to the top. I'm taking in the magnificence of the surroundings."

"And getting out of breath in the process."

"Just doing a bit of deep breathing to take in lungfulls of the fresh air." Joey was conscious that he wasn't keeping up with Martina. She seemed to be finding it easier to climb than him.

"Yeah, right. You drive everywhere Joey. It's about time you took a bit of exercise."

"Bit public here, you'll have to wait." He gave her a cheeky smile.

She laughed and took his hand leading him up the track.

Even though it was a baby mountain, Joey had found it harder than he cared to admit. Perhaps he did need to look at his lifestyle. Bearing in mind his dad, but then Freddie walked miles pushing his carts, he'd never driven anywhere, in fact he didn't have a licence. He'd always drunk a lot more than Joey though, and Joey suspected his diet wasn't as good. Did his dad get stressed Joey wondered? He never seemed to, he had a habit of pleasing himself and walking away from situations he found difficult. Hadn't stopped him from getting a bad heart though, perhaps things got to him more than he let on. Running between three homes had to be tiring, still he only had himself to blame for that.

"You ok Joey?" Martina's words broke in on his thoughts.

"I," he hesitated. "Er, better than I was, sweetheart, better than I was."

That was true enough. He was nowhere near being able to answer ok, but he was a hell of a lot better than he had been a few days ago. Martina always seemed to have a steadying effect on him, enabling him to think clearly. He knew if he hadn't had her to rescue him, he'd have been back grovelling round Roxy, which would have done him no good at all.

"Good," she grinned mischievously. "It's a stiffer climb down."

"Aren't we going back the same way?"

She shook her head. "You get a different view on the other side, over the sea. It's worth a steeper route."

"Show me the way." He threw out his free arm.

They spent the rest of the day lazing in the beach, before heading off to a quirky little restaurant. And yesterday had been just as good, a leisurely breakfast, relaxed coast walk, then a drive back with a stop on The Wirral for dinner.

Right, no good just sitting here, he needed to go through that door.

"Greetings." He joined the family at breakfast and deposited £200 in the pot. "Am I too late for breakfast mam?"

"Of course not luv. Eggs alright?"

"That'd be lovely. Thank you."

"How was Wigan, Joey?" Nellie was clattering pans around.

"Profitable mam, very profitable." Joey picked up the Echo.

"I don't suppose it was legal though. What with you and him." Adrian indicated Shifty.

"What have I done? What have I done?" Shifty whined. "I've just been sat here eating me food, thinking about selling me fruit from me new hearse."

"Yes well Adrian, work is work. We don't talk about it, just do it. Remember?"

Joey had told Nellie he was off to see to something in Wigan that would take a couple of days. He'd had a few decent little jobs recently, plus a good pay out from Alastair Grainger, after he'd leant a bit of 'support' to Michael, so he could cover his absence with a high contribution to the pot. It was ridiculous though, he was just having a weekend break with someone he liked, looked up to and desired. It wasn't like he was up to anything illict, he should be able to just do it without all the lying and deceit, most people could.

"Thanks mam."

He took the plate that Nellie was holding out.

Just Aveline's wedding to get through now. He'd loved to have been able to bring Martina but he knew that idea was a non starter, so he'd just have to cope on his own. His mam was in her element organising her only daughter's wedding and thankfully he had nothing to do except cover up for Jack who'd let him know he wouldn't be home for the wedding, and try to keep the peace every time Freddie appeared.


	14. Chapter 14

**a/n**

 **Just a bit of Joetina and some Kelsall Street chaos. According to one of my colleagues interest rates rocketed in the late 80's/early 90's, with mortgage rates reaching 15%. Still at least they could get a mortgage on a normal wage!**

CHAPTER 14

From his perch on one of the concrete block sea defences, Joey watched Mongy chase after the stick Martina had thrown. He smiled as the dog tore into the foam from the incoming tide. It was so peaceful here, just him, Martina and Mongy, the sound of the sea, and the gulls. Especially after the mayhem that was 30 Kelsall Street. His eyes softened as he looked at Martina playing with the dog, he wondered if Edgar would have taken to her in the way Mongy had. The tide! He suddenly noticed it had sneaked in behind them. He jumped down and ran towards them yelling at Martina, and gesticulating wildly.

She turned round and nodded, called Mongy, grasped his collar and made her way to the rapidly expanding surge of water. She let him go and he swam to Joey, tail wagging.

"Hurry up, you haven't got all day." Joey was hopping up and down. It was up to Mongy's nose already.

"I know, I'm just taking me shoes off."

"Do you want me to come and get you?"

"No, it's fine." She held them up, and waded through, Joey watching anxiously all the while.

He caught hold of her as she reached him, wet almost to her waist.

"Come on." He led her back, Mongy growling at the water as it splashed him.

Back on the blocks he lifted her into his lap, then made a face as he realised how wet she was.

"You should've let me come and get you."

"Why? No point in both of us getting wet."

"I could've been your knight in shining armour racing to rescue a damsel in distress."

She smiled wryly. "Hardly in distress Joey, it was only up to me knees."

Joey grinned, pointing to her legs. "Bit of an understatement that sweetheart."

She looked him up and down. "Knight in black leather doesn't have the same ring to it does it?"

He opened his mouth to retort, she carried on. "Though there is something of the night about you."

He laughed, shook his head and held her tightly, his panic subsiding. If he had one complaint about Martina, it was her obstinate refusal to accept his help. From decorating to getting caught by the tide she always insisted on going it alone. Even a stupid thing like changing a lightbulb. She'd been wobbling about at the top of the steps barely able to reach, but had refused his assistance. He'd pointed out that as he was a lot taller, he could do it more quickly and safely than her, but she'd shaken her head and carried on regardless.

"Me and me brother got trapped by the tide here when we was little. Some fella with a boat came to get us. Me mam was getting frantic."

"Thought you were supposed to get wiser as you got older." Joey teased.

"Clearly not," she shot back, snuggling down against him. "Is it tomorrow, your Aveline's wedding?"

"Yeah, and I'm not looking forward to it. I'm gonna be on tenterhooks the whole time. Every time me dad puts in an appearance there's a ruckus. I seem to spend me whole time acting as peacemaker. It's not like me mam doesn't know that he's meant to be keeping calm, but she's getting worse. I'm sure one day she'll set off his heart. The other day he rang in a panic, he was having pains. I had to pick him up."

Martina stroked the back of his hand. He was grateful for the gesture, small perhaps but comforting.

"How is he Joey? He must have been worried."

"Well, he said it was just a little set back, but I dunno." He shrugged.

"Maybe it's his way of coping. Anyway, it's Aveline's day Joey. I'm sure your mam will remember that and not do anything to spoil it."

"The other day Aveline received a present, a nice pair of pillowcases and it turned out they were from Lilo Lil. Me mam went spare, she's still going on about it. I'll be glad when it's all over and done with to be honest."

She twisted slightly to give him a tender kiss. "You know I really enjoyed that weekend in Wales."

"We should do it more often, get away for a break." Joey was thoughtful.

"Yeah." Martina sounded a bit absent. It was all very well for Joey, but her finances wouldn't stand it. She'd just about had enough to pay her share as it was, she wouldn't be going anywhere else for the foreseeable future. The latest interest rate rise had pushed her right to the edge. She'd increased her borrowing when there were two of them to cover it, for his benefit moreover, and now she'd been left to pick up the cost. She still couldn't understand it. One minute he'd been talking about how he wanted to settle down with her because he'd realised his mistake in leaving her before, and she was the only woman he'd ever met where they could be friends as well as lovers, and then...

She drew a deep breath, conscious that her eyes had filled.

"Sweetheart?" Joey was looking at her, anxiously.

"Sorry, Joey. What were you saying? I got distracted."

He held her closer to him, not sure what had upset her, confidant nothing he'd said or done, else she would have let him know, but clearly some recollection had bothered her. He knew she was a strong women, he'd seen her cope with all sorts, and he witnessed her getting her act together, could feel her pulling herself in and rearranging her face back to normal. If only he had half her strength. Joey wished she trusted him enough to confide in him. He might not be able to help, but he could at least provide her with a sympathetic ear.

Martina was grateful that Joey had been sensitive to her upset, but hadn't quizzed her or pushed her to talk, just held her to him, curling her hair through his fingers.

The first of the spray to hit them jolted them both away from their thoughts.

"Come on, we need to shift ourselves." Martina sat up and jumped down, Joey following.

Hand in hand they made their way back to the car, with Mongy racing along to join them.

"Queensway's nearer for yours isn't it?"

"Not a lot in it, Joey."

* * *

"Honestly, I don't know where our Joey gets off to these days. He said he was taking Mongy for a walk. That was at a quarter to four, and he's not back yet. And his phone's off. Why does he need his phone off? It's always off these days. I suppose he's back with her, that tart." Nellie was twisting the tea towel round in her hands.

"He'll be alright." Freddie stated, barely glancing up from the programme he was watching.

"He'll be alright, he'll be alright, that's all I ever get from you Freddie Boswell." Nellie was beginning to screech.

"Look, he's thirty-one Nellie Boswell, he'll be al-right!" Freddie was forceful as his eyes met Nellie's.

"Anyway mam, a long walk he said." Adrian tried to keep the temperature down. "I'm taking Mongy for a long walk he said. Tire him out for tomorrow."

Nellie snorted. "Is his car back yet?"

Adrian got up and checked. "No mam. But if he took the car, he might have taken him to The Wirral. He does sometimes, if he wants to give him a good long run."

He put his arm round his mam. "He'll be back mam, he'll be back and they'll both be wanting their dinners."

"Joey's is ruined, Adrian, ruined. Burnt to a cinder. It's only fit for the bin." Nellie waved the plate around before viciously scrapping it away.

"Well he'll have to go to the chippy then. Come and sit down Nellie Boswell." Freddie just wanted to relax before tomorrow, he was full of foreboding as it was that Lil would create a scene at the church.

"No, no I'm going to check on our Aveline." She went upstairs.

"Do you think he is dad?" Adrian took advantage of his mam's absence.

"Is what son?"

"Back with Roxy."

"I dunno son, and it's not really anything to do with us is it?"

"No, but well, all she's put him through."

"That's nothing, all that Julie's put me through, and now I'm getting a divorce." Billy piped up. He'd been dozing on and off since dinner.

"He can't keep away can he? I'd be surprised if he's with her right now though." Freddie was keen just to sit quietly and close down the conversation, especially now Billy had woken up. Much as he loved his kids, Billy aggravated him every time he opened his mouth. He was finding it hard to settle into number 30. To him this house wasn't home. As far as he was concerned this was the Duvall house. His home was next door, number 28. Narcissistic as ever, the fact that it was in response to his actions that the family had needed to swop, didn't register with him.

"Why would you be surprised?"

"Because he's got Mongy. She doesn't strike me as someone who'd take kindly to having a dog around her."

"Oh yeah, I suppose that's true."

Before anyone could say another word, the door opened and Mongy bounded in, with Joey strolling behind.

"Your mam's been panicking Joey." Freddie looked up at his eldest. He did have the look of a man who was satisfied with himself. He wondered if it was Roxy or someone else. He'd put his money on someone else.

"Ar'ey, I told her I was taking him out for a while." Joey proceeded to feed the dog.

"Well, she's binned your dinner Joey, and I do think you could have shown our mam a bit of consideration tonight of all nights. I mean why did you have your phone off? After all you were only taking the dog for a walk." Adrian sounded very prissy.

"That's none of your business Adrian. Just as well I'm not hungry then isn't it. Coffee anyone?" Joey wasn't rising to the bait.

"You're turning into a right old woman Adrian. You'll be wanting a frilly pinny next." Billy scoffed.

"Now look here you…"

"Cut it the pair of you." Joey broke in. "Let's just have a nice, quiet, peaceful evening. Tomorrow's going to be hectic enough. Dad." He handed Freddie his coffee and sat down. "Yours and Adrian's are in the kitchen, Billy."

"How come you couldn't bring ours in then?" Billy moaned.

"Because Billy I can't carry four mugs at once, and it won't kill you to get off up that sofa and fetch them in."

"Oh, don't bother I'll do it. One day Billy we'll come downstairs and your body will have melted into that sofa." Adrian got up, his patience with Billy exhausted.

"Adrian." Joey spoke sharply, giving him a warning glare. "That's enough. Dad needs a bit of tranquility these days."

"Oh yes, course. Sorry." Adrian gave Billy his coffee and sat down.

Billy went to open his mouth.

"Bill-y." Joey widened his eyes at him.

"I haven't even said anything yet. How come I'm never allowed to say anything in this house?"

"Because everything you do say is utter rubbish." Adrian was dismissive.

"Now stop the pair of you." Shocked by their dad's uncharacteristic intervention they were both silent. He turned to Joey. "Bet you're sorry you came back now," he chuckled.

Joey smiled conspiratorially at his dad. "Yeah I am. Least Mongy doesn't talk."

And the rest thought Joey. Just being able to laze on Martina's sofa with her in his arms, Mongy on the floor beside them, tail going whenever one of them reached down to pat or stroke him, watching the telly and chatting was bliss. Nothing exceptional, probably what most people managed to do in their everyday lives, but in comparison to the pandemonium at home it was sheer luxury.

His dad winked. "And the rest eh son, and the rest?"

Joey just laughed. There was never much point trying to hide anything from his dad.

"Your mam thinks it's Roxy. Put her out of her misery lad."

Joey shook his head. "It's not like that."

"Well, do what you think best son, but she's gonna keep on at you till you do."

Joey shook his head again. "Nothing to tell her dad, nothing to tell."

Adrian frowned, he couldn't work out just what Joey was up to from this cryptic exchange. Was he seeing Roxy, someone else, or just indulging in a bit of casual sex? And if he was, why on earth would he take Mongy with him?

Billy totally bored by the whole conversation had finished his coffee and gone back to sleep.

Nellie came down and caught sight of Joey. "You're back then."

"Yes mam."

"Your dinner's in the bin. I can do you.."

"It's ok mam I picked something up when I was out. Come and sit down and I'll get you a coffee." He got up. Nellie sat herself in his place. The something had been a ratatouille, with courgette and tomato bake, and sweet potato mash back at Martina's. Although not vegetarian she seemed to cook a lot of vegetarian dishes. He'd not rung her until 3, so she hadn't been cooking with him in mind. She'd told him she often put things on slow cook to do during the day to save messing about when she got in. Perhaps he'd just struck lucky. Never having to do any shopping Joey wasn't to know that vegetarian dishes were so much cheaper, Martina's reason for cooking them.

"Like old times eh Nellie, all sat round together." Freddie tried to be friendly.

"Could have been all times if you hadn't been off with a tart." Nellie wasn't having any of it.

Joey gritted his teeth and thrust a cup at her. "Here you are mam. So how's the blushing bride? Excited? Nervous?" He sat on the arm of the sofa gently rubbing her shoulders.

Adrian joined in to help out. "I wonder what she's thinking, her last night as a single woman. This time tomorrow she'll be on her honeymoon."

"She doesn't even know where it's going to be. I mean how ridiculous, just what you'd expect from a proddy preacher. She packs a bikini and he takes her to Russia." Nellie was in full throttle.

Joey and Adrian exchanged glances, it had worked. Whilst she was having a pop at Oswald she was leaving Freddie alone.

"Where did you take Mongy, Joey?" Nellie spoke calmly.

"Moreton, he spent ages chasing the gulls and running in and out of the sea. He kept barking every time the foam hit him."

"Stupid dog." Adrian smiled and stretched over to stroke him.

"Then I took him across Leasowe Common to dry off. They're running a campaign over there to save the lighthouse. Friends of Leasowe Lighthouse they're calling themselves."

"I was worried Joey, your phone was off." Nellie was still calm, but there was an undercurrent in her voice that Joey recognised.

He could see his mam was itching to bring up Roxy. She hadn't mentioned Roxy out loud recently but clearly suspected Joey was still seeing her.

"I must have switched me phone off without thinking." Joey was determined not to argue with his mam tonight however aggravating she became.

"Auto pilot Joey. That's what they call it when you set out to do something, then you start by doing what you always do and your mind sends you off on that track subconsciously, even though you're actually doing something different."

Apart from Billy snoring away, the rest of the family turned to look at him. Joey knew he was only trying to help but he did come out with some crap at times.

"I mean you got in the car, your mind thought work, so you switched your phone off, even though you weren't going to work." Adrian was stung, why were his family so slow sometimes?

Joey nodded. "Yes I guess so. I had no reason to switch off. Anyway, why don't we all have an early night, lots of excitement tomorrow."

"That's a good idea. Are you coming up dad? Jack's bed's free or are you…" Adrian trailed off.

Joey squeezed his eyes shut in exasperation. Not another slanging match, please.

"Jack's will do fine. Night, night Nellie Boswell." Freddie gave her a peck on the cheek and followed Adrian upstairs, glad of the chance to get away before another row exploded.

"Come 'ead Billy, time to get in your bed." Joey hoisted Billy to his feet and shoved him in the direction of the stairs, before turning to Nellie.

"Mam, no staying up too late. You wanna be at your best tomorrow." He gave her a hug before he too made for the stairs.

"Goodnight luv. Yes, I'll be going up soon." Nellie gave a deep, heartfelt sigh and sat down.


	15. Chapter 15

**a/n**

 **I always thought Joey deserved a treat in Rome so I couldn't resist giving him one, although it will come back to haunt him. I'm not sure that Martina's flights would have gone from Speke, in reality she might have had to go from Manchester, but hey this is my au so anything's possible.**

Chapter 15

"So how about coming to Rome with us?"

"Who do you mean by us Joey?" Martina was guarded.

"Me and the family."

"Offshoots and all?"

"He's bringing Celia, she moved in to number 32 a while back and it's turned out she's his ex. Well, one of them. They seem to be getting it back together, so he wouldn't be giving you any hassle."

"Good grief Joey, what have I done to deserve that fate, holed up with a herd of Boswells." She started laughing. "Just imagine your Adrian if I was there, he'd end up with his bunny attached to him all the time. Billy would go on about his sandwiches, his ex wife and baby, and your grandad about the size of me chest."

"Rome's all about romance though isn't it? Me mam and dad, Billy and Julie, Aveline and Oswald, Celia and Shifty. I thought you might enjoy seeing Rome with me." Joey wanted to move away from that last topic, he'd never forgotten the day his grandfather embarrassed him at the DHSS on the subject. And apparently neither had Martina.

She looked at him sharply. "I wasn't aware we were doing romance Joey."

Joey couldn't help noticing she looked like a cornered animal. Christ knows what had happened to her. He'd never managed to get her to open up to him, not that it wasn't for the want of trying. He had, but to no avail.

"Friendship then." His face showed his concern.

Martina smiled. "Better, but still no. I can't imagine your mother approving of her number one son sharing a room with a woman anyway." She spoke with an air of finality.

Neither could Joey. That was a major snag even if Martina had been agreeable to joining him.

He decided not to push it.

A few days later in front of her cubicle he raised the subject again, this time from a business viewpoint. Martina was doing a good job of being professionally obnoxious.

"So Mr Boswell, are you telling me that the city of Liverpool will be divested of the entire Boswell clan for two weeks."

"The branch that I have the honour of belonging to, yes."

"Fill that in Mr Boswell." She passed the forms across the table.

"Thank you." He lowered his voice. "Could you meet me after work, usual place?"

"I could and on this occasion I will." She fired back at him.

"Thank you Mr Boswell." She collected the forms back, her voice returning to normal.

He rose with a smile and blew her a kiss before leaving.

"Next."

An hour or so later Joey and Martina were down at Lark Lane enjoying an al fresco drink at about the only half decent pub in the street.

"Martina, let me finish what I've got to say before you interrupt please."

She raised her eyebrows but kept silent and he continued.

"I understand that you wouldn't want to spend a couple of weeks with the family, but how about a weekend with me? I've looked at the flights and there's one in at 10am on the Saturday and one out on the Sunday at 5pm. To and from Speke. I could book us a room at a different hotel and we could have a couple of days to ourselves."

"And what happens to the family whilst your away, and what excuse you gonna make?" Martina was finding it hard to keep her laughter back.

"They'll just have to manage and I'll say I've a business opportunity. I promise you I won't go all romantic on you." He nudged her.

"Joey the flights will cost a fortune." More than I've got anyway she thought to herself, conscious of the deplorable state of her finances.

"A present from me, for all your help and support round the flat and Roxy and everything else over the past year." He was quick to assure her.

"Heavens, is it as long as that?"

"It is sweetheart, it is"

"So what do you say?"

She looked intently at her drink. It would be nice to have a weekend away, she'd never been to Rome, and she did enjoy spending time with Joey. Not the most dynamic or exciting lover she had ever had, but he was kind and considerate, and didn't play havoc with her feelings. Or drain her mentally and financially. But she could foresee all sorts of problems, what would happen if they ran into any of the others whilst taking in the sights for starters? She didn't think she could handle anything like that.

"I dunno Joey. I'd love to go to Rome with you for the weekend, but what happens if any of your lot see us together."

He laughed. "They'll have to get over themselves won't they? Might remind them that I do have a life of me own. Come on Martina, just say yes and I can sort it all tomorrow."

She looked up. "Ok then Joey. I'll come to Rome to spend the weekend with you."

"Fantastic." He looked genuinely thrilled and leant over, taking her in his arms and giving her a passionate kiss of some length. Which earned them a few disapproving stares from some of the other patrons, also enjoying the early autumn sunshine.

Martina broke away and began a giggling fit. "Joey, stop it."

* * *

"Hello, can I confirm the booking for Mr Boswell & Ms Delaney for tomorrow night please?"

"Thank you."

He put the phone down and started to get ready for a night's solo exploring, he needed a break from everyone after being on call to them all week. He'd suggested a family holiday as a way to ease some of the stresses and strains everyone seemed to be under. Since Aveline's wedding the situation at home seemed to have deteriorated. Almost every time two or more of the family got in the same room there was a barney. His mam was receiving some strange calls where she repeated 'thank you' every couple of minutes, then seemed distracted afterwards. Jack still wasn't back and Joey was missing him more and more. Jack was the one he could rely on to back him up if the situation at home got too out of hand. To be fair Adrian had stepped up a bit, and tried to give him some support, but he often ended up making things worse. Joey supposed Adrian had never really had to sort out anything, being only a year younger than Jack, and three years younger than himself, he'd always had someone around to fight his battles. St. George's Catholic Boys Secondary Modern hadn't been the easiest of rides, but Adrian had coasted along in his and Jack's wake and kept out of bother. Better at studying than trouble making he'd been in the top class until he passed the 13 plus in the third year and been able to transfer to the grammar school where he'd done well in his 'O' and 'A' levels. He'd got himself a proper job when he finished, in an office, regular hours, wearing a suit and carrying a briefcase. Which was more than the rest of them could say. His world collapsed when redundancy hit him eight years later. Joey knew his mam was fretting about Jack, which was making her more clingy than usual. She hadn't actually mentioned Roxy to him, but he realised she was dying to confront him with her. And then he was worried he might really lose it and say all sorts of things that were best left unsaid. He was aware that he was her favourite son, and he was alert to how devastated she'd be if some of his thoughts were given voice to.

So he'd organised the holiday, sorted everything out as usual, arranged with Oswald that he would fly out after a few days and surprise Aveline, hired a mini bus, done all the driving so far, and there was still too much grief about. The very first evening his mam had chucked a selection of Freddie's clothes out of the window and it had kept on from there. His idea of Rome and romance had been off kilter as well. All the respective couples had done so far was argue, apart from Aveline and Oswald who seemed to be perfectly happy. One out of four was better than none, but not what he'd been hoping for. And Adrian who'd been hoping to find some passion, had been walking around with a face like a smacked arse.

Joey left the room, buoyed up by the knowledge that he'd be meeting up with Martina in the morning.

He turned the corner and crashed into one of the staff carrying a tray. Everything went flying, Joey bent down to help pick everything up.

"Oh, you handsome English man, very blond." The girl ran her hand over his chest.

"Er, yes, yes I am." Joey was flustered.

"You wait here, I'll be back."

"Yes." He was frozen to the wall, unable to move. He tore himself away and shot into grandad's room. The old man was sitting fully dressed on his bed staring at the wall.

"Hi there grandad, what's up with you then?"

"It's me legs, they won't take me where I want to go."

"Well you should've let me sort you out a wheelchair like I offered to." Joey beamed at him.

"Yes, well I thought I could manage, but I've found out I can't."

There was a pause whilst Joey looked smug, but he was determined to make his grandfather ask, so he kept silent."

"Can you sort one out for me Joey?"

"I can grandad, I can. In fact I'll get to it now." He left the room and spoke to reception.

He returned to his grandad via Adrian's room. "I've sorted out a wheelchair for grandad from tomorrow and you're on first shift."

"Ok Joey." Adrian sounded flat.

Joey resisted the temptation to enquire as to the reason for his mood and went back to his grandad's with the arrangements for tomorrow.

"I wanted to go out tonight. Why can't I go out tonight?" The old man was cranky.

"Because I couldn't get one for tonight grandad. I'll happily walk with you if you like."

"Dooh. I can't walk around, I've told you. Take me down to the bar Joey."

"Come on then grandad, up you get." Joey helped him and led him to the lift.

He settled the old man down with a drink, spoke to the barman to put it on his room tab and disappeared before he could get caught up with anyone else, determined to get a couple of hours to himself.

"Right then," Joey finished his breakfast and put down his napkin. "I have to be off. I've spotted a nice little earning opportunity and I have a few things to sort. I'll see you all tomorrow." He handed Adrian the minibus key to a stunned silence, all eyes turned towards him.

"But Joey, what," begun Nellie.

"But what nothing mam. I'll see you all tomorrow." He left the room, pointedly ignoring Shifty's wink and leer.

He was at the airport in good time and spotted Martina as soon as she came through arrivals. He swooped her up. "So good to see you."

"You too, Joey." Slightly bemused, but surprisingly pleased by his enthusiasm, she returned his kiss.

Check in done they relaxed into their room. After viewing the Spanish steps, The Pantheon, and the Trevi fountain they decided to take a rest from sightseeing.

"I've booked a nice little restaurant for this evening. And after there's something I'd like to show you." Joey turned away from the window to face Martina who was sprawled over the bed.

She raised her eyebrows.

"Nothing dubious, honest." He caught her smirk. "You really are the most cynical person I've ever met."

She laughed, "yeah, probably." She reached out and tugged him towards her, not that he needed any persuasion.

A few hours later they left the restaurant, which was quaint, intimate and whimsical, with a small but perfect menu.

"Good choice, Joey." Martina slipped her arm in his.

"Glad you liked it sweetheart." Joey gently kissed the top off her head. "This way." He steered her off towards the Campidoglio. They came to a flight of steps. He led her up, past the statue of the wolf, and further up. "Right, close your eyes."

"Why?" Martina sounded suspicious.

"To get the full effect when you open them again. Come on Martina, I'm not up to anything, honest."

She closed her eyes, he guided her onto a natural balcony, and turned her around. He stood behind her, his arms around her waist. "Ok, you can open them now."

"The Fori Imperiali. Joey that's amazing." Martina was impressed, it was a glorious sight, they were standing in the pitch dark, alone, looking down on the floodlit Forum, with its hoards of people milling around it. There was no doubt about it, thought Martina, Joey was definitely sweet and thoughtful, even though he was still bound to his Roxy. It puzzled Martina that given his evident attachment to Roxy he hadn't been able or willing to fully commit to her, making him the architect of his own misfortune. Mind she was a fine one to talk about relationships. Martina had a shrewd idea that Joey's only real commitment was to his family. Still he made her feel valued, treated her right, was helping her dented confidence straighten out. She kept him at arms length though, unwilling to let him get too close to her emotionally.

Joey smiled wistfully. He'd always dreamed of taking Roxy to that restaurant, then bringing her up here to propose. It'd never worked out like that of course, and he ought to get rid of the ring. Yet if he did, he'd have to accept that it was well and truly over, and he wasn't ready for that. He didn't think he'd ever fully recover from Roxy, but at least being with Martina kept him on an even keel. And whilst he wasn't planning on proposing to Martina, he was glad she was with him to share his special place. He'd grown fond of her over the last year or so, not just because she'd helped him deal with Roxy, but in her own right. He was mindful of the barriers between them that she'd put up. He'd come to understand that she was trying to protect herself, but he did wish she'd at least talk to him. Instinctively he pulled her in closer to him, tightening his arms.

She put his hand to her mouth and kissed it.

A tiny spark shot through Joey's veins. He felt he could stay here for ever, just the two of them, detached from everything that was going on around them, safe in their little bubble.

Joey started.

"Car backfiring." Martina murmured half asleep.

He settled down into her arms drifting back off thinking what a lovely day they'd had, and how they had the best part of tomorrow before her flight back. As well as the standard touristy things, he wanted to walk hand in hand with her round Tiber Island, where they could enjoy some peace and quiet together. He hoped she wouldn't consider it too romantic. He'd been a bit worried that she'd cut up about his special place on that score, but that had passed off without any grief.

He waved her off, watching till she was out of sight then made for his waiting taxi.

"Hotel Flamini please."

The rest of the week passed without any major hassle, fortified by Martina's visit Joey made himself available to his family, taking the lion's share of wheelchair pushing. Even the respective couples seemed to be reconciling themselves, and Adrian had managed to get it together with Magdalena, the girl he had been mooning round after.

Until that was breakfast on their penultimate day, when Nellie shouted once too often at Freddie and his heart gave out.

Gathered around in the hospital waiting room Joey tried to support his siblings whilst feeling totally shit himself.

He looked at them, in their respective couples, even Adrian had Magdalena hanging onto his arm. He'd never felt able to introduce anyone into the family circle. Apart from Roxy he'd never had a serious relationship and by the time Roxy did meet the family it was too late. He'd have given anything to have Martina, stood next to him right at this moment. He looked at his mam, her lips were trembling, he knew she was blaming herself for what had happened, for not controlling her tongue. He closed his eyes. He could sense that the rest of them were blaming her too, not consciously, but it was there all the same. Course they hadn't heard what he'd heard. His dad could be so provocative, going on about trying on two coats in a place he knew, then not being able to choose, so to keep them both. Taunting his mam about Lilo Lil, letting her know that she'd been there, secretly, the last time the family had been to Rome and that he had no intention of letting her go out of his life. Goading her and goading her till finally she'd snapped. And now look where they were. His mam wasn't perfect, she had her faults and foibles, but his dad could be so cruel, so heedless of her feelings. In a startling moment of clarity Joey saw Roxy's face superimposed on his dad's. That same cruelty, he opened his eyes and looked at his mam, that was his future if he didn't manage to get Roxy right out of his life for good.

Mrs Boswell? The doctor came into the room. Would you come through please?

Nellie got up ashen faced and beckoned Joey to come with her.

They went into a small office and sat facing the doctor.

Mrs Boswell your husband is responding to treatment, we have been able to stabilise him, and he is under sedation at present. The next twenty-four hours are crucial.

"Thank you doctor." Joey held out his hand, and they went back to the rest of the family.

"We may as well get back to the hotel. Dad's under sedation so we can't see him yet."

Having reassurance from the hospital next morning that the chance of Freddie dying was minimal, it was decided that Joey would stay with his mam in Rome and the rest of them would return that evening as planned, under the guidance of Oswald. The doctor was confidant Freddie could be flown home from Tuesday, depending on when the insurance company could arrange an accompanying medic.

Joey and Nellie saw the family off, there had been some resistance, but Joey had pointed out it would be harder to get Freddie home if the flight had to accommodate all of them, Oswald and Julie needed to get back, and anyway the hotel had only one room available over the next few days. Celia had kindly offered to see to both households until Nellie was back.

"I'll take the minibus back mam, then I'll get a taxi to take us to the hotel."

"Oh alright Joey." Nellie sounded flat.

"Or do you want to go some where else?"

"St Peter's Square."

"We'll go there then."

Nellie stood in the square and pleaded silently. 'Forgive me father. I know it's my fault. Please make him better.'

She turned, and her eye alighted on a white pigeon. She shuddered, before that fateful exchange Freddie had been yakking about if you see a white pigeon in St. Peter's Square your wish will come true.

She walked sadly back to the taxi, heart heavy.

"Are you sure you don't mind sharing the room mam?" Joey looked up at her.

"Oh, it's fine Joey as long as it's alright with you."

"It's no sweat mam. Come on let's get back there."

As promised the hotel had moved his and his mam's things into the room. It had a private bathroom so that made it easier.

"I'm gonna ring the hospital mam, see if we can visit. Do you want anything?"

"No thanks Joey." Nellie looked little and lost.

"We can visit him tonight between six and eight. He's sitting up and talking." Joey smiled as he re-entered.

"Oh, that's something. You were a long time Joey." She looked at him accusingly.

"Took me a while to get through, then find someone who could speak to me in English." Joey shook his head. Actually the hospital call had been quick, he'd spent the rest of the time on the phone to Martina. Just being able to talk to her had made him feel so much better.

The visit over, Joey and Nellie walked to the Tiber and along the left bank till they came to Ponte Fabricio, where they went to the centre and Joey stopped.

"He looked better than I was expecting, mam." Joey faced downstream.

Nellie looked him square in the eyes. "It's all my fault Joey. I'm to blame."

Joey grabbed hold of her. "No mam, you're not. You mustn't think that."

She shook her head, "I knew about his heart, but I still let him have it. I shouldn't have done that, Joey."

"Mam, I heard him, I heard what he said. He was pushing and pushing you, he knew what he was doing. He was spoiling for a fight."

He pulled his mam in close and stroked her hair. He could feel her trembling as the tears fell.

"Hey now mam, he's gonna be fine. He was walking a cliff edge the doctor said."

"And I pushed him over." She managed to sob out brokenly.

"No you didn't mam. He knew his heart was bad, he shouldn't have said what he said. He was trying to incite you into a quarrel."

He held her till he felt her body stop shaking, then dried her eyes. Searching for his hanky his fingers alighted on the little velvet case with the ring in it that he'd been carrying round with him for years. His mind went back to the waiting room yesterday. He pulled it out and flung it into the river to be carried away from him on the flow.

"Joey?" Nellie frowned. "What was that?"

"Nothing mam, nothing." He pulled away from the side and led his mam back to the bank so they could continue their stroll.

Joey thought it was time to lighten up the conversation, for both their sakes. He was still shaken from his insight yesterday and his ring throwing today, and as for his mam, well, she was a wreck.

"By the way mam did you know this bridge was built in the first century BC?"


	16. Chapter 16

**A/n**

 **Joey and Martina have to face the consequences of their weekend in Rome.**

Joey studied Martina in some concern, she seemed miles away, her eyes inward looking. She'd been fine in Rome, he hoped he hadn't scared her off by being a little bit too romantic. But she'd seemed perfectly normal when saw her off at the airport and when he'd phoned her about his dad. In the end he'd only had to stop in Rome an extra four nights, they'd been able to fly back on the Wednesday. An ambulance had met them to transfer his dad to the Royal hospital for a week until discharged into their care. He'd been ensconced in Aveline's room the last few days, whilst his mam ran herself ragged attending to his every whim, guilt eating away at her. She was fast losing her strength and spark allowing Freddie to dominate her, like he always did. She didn't fool Joey, he knew despite all her tough talk she was still a one-man woman, and she wanted more than anything to have her Freddie back. Joey felt stretched to breaking point, waiting for the uneasy truce to break, convinced that Lilo Lil would be back on the scene soon, and how the hell he was going to manage the inevitable fallout. He considered just moving out and letting them get on with it, but he didn't want to abandon his mam.

One positive though, Roxy had taken a job in Birmingham and moved. Her letter thanking him for his financial support, and saying she'd be alright now, was awaiting him when he got back from Rome. He'd done nothing about it save canceling the standing order, figuring that this was as good a moment as any to try and make a complete break. He knew he was miles better off away from her, but she was still there, lurking round the fringes of his brain, awaiting her chance to poison his mind.

Now he came to think of it Martina had seemed pleased to see him when he first got back, but this last two days it was like she wasn't firing on all cylinders.

"You ok?"

"Yeah."

"Sure?"

"Well I'm late and that's unusual."

"Late for what?" He caught the look on her face. "Oh I see."

"I mean I'm meticulous about taking me pill, I always check the packet, so I know I've not missed one. I shouldn't be worried but," she paused. "I dunno, I'm regular as clockwork normally. I can nearly predict the hour."

Joey was lost for words, he couldn't think of anything reassuring to say so he pulled her in close, head resting on hers. His mind was in overdrive. Surely this couldn't be happening? Martina wasn't the type to panic and indulge in histrionics, he'd actually watched her take her pill some mornings and on one occasion witnessed her checking the empty packet as she took the last one. He'd teased her about it and her response came back to him. 'No offence Joey but much as I'm enjoying your company I don't want a baby Boswell. As a matter of fact I don't want a baby anything full stop.'

She sighed. "I'll get a test in a couple of weeks, put me mind at rest."

"Can I be here when you do it?"

She pulled back and looked up at him sharply. "Why?"

"I think I ought to be. I mean supposing, just supposing you are, I want to be with you."

Joey felt strangely composed all of a sudden. He couldn't understand it. After everything that had happened with Roxy he should be all over the place, but he wasn't. Perhaps he thought grimly his brain had finally imploded. Still que sera, sera and all that.

* * *

"Right I need to use it first thing in the morning, then wait an hour and if there's a red circle at the bottom I'm pregnant." Martina finished reading the instruction leaflet with the home pregnancy test.

"Do you really think that's likely?" Joey was still feeling remarkably sanguine about it all. He'd got through the last fortnight in a strange state of detachment, not absolutely sure what he wanted the results to be. He didn't actually want a child at this moment in time, but there was a tiny, tiny bit of him that quite fancied the idea of setting up home and having a family with Martina. The thought he'd had about being loved and fed by Martina not being a bad life kept sneaking in. After all he'd had enough dreams of a family of his own, but they'd always been centered round Roxy and a big white house in Gateacre. A much larger part of him was tempted to run screaming into the hills, not that he had any actual intention of shirking his responsibilities, he just didn't feel ready for the sort of commitment that a baby would require, in a part of the city he wasn't easy with, and to a woman who didn't even trust him enough to share her own demons. But mainly he was feeling stupefied. This past year or so had been spent reeling from blow after blow like a punchie, and now it seemed as though his conscious had just about had enough of it, downed tools and gone on strike.

"I don't see how I can be. I've been on this since I was eighteen and it's never let me down, but I just want to make sure."

Clocking her haggard face and haunted eyes, Joey swallowed and refrained from suggesting that if she hadn't worked out yet that the kind of activities they frequently indulged in could lead to pregnancy, then he needed to chat to her about the birds and bees.

If it had seemed like a long night, no sleep for either of them, it was nothing to the wait for the hour to be up.

Joey glanced at his watch again, nearly time.

"Won't go any quicker Joey." Martina managed a small smile.

"No, I know." He tried to sound calm and relaxed.

"Ready?" Martina held out her hand and he took it. Together they made their way to the bathroom.

"Oh God!" Martina sat down on the side of the bath.

Clear as anything was a dull red circle at the bottom of the tube.

Joey knelt down and took her in his arms. "Oh dear, what have we done?"

His heart was pounding, blood rushing through his body.

"Martina?" He spoke quietly. She must be stunned not to have flashed a sarky comment back to him.

"Um," she looked totally blank, like she was in a state of shock.

"Let's go and sit somewhere more comfortable." He helped her to her feet and guided her to the sitting room, and the sofa. "Can I get you anything?" He was still speaking gently.

"Er no. Thanks Joey. I'm just," she tailed off.

Joey kept a tight hold of her whilst desperately thinking of something to say. He could feel her heart hammering against him.

"Martina, I don't really know what to say but I'm, well I'm here for you, whatever you want."

She muttered something into his shoulder, which he couldn't make out.

She had absolutely no idea what she wanted to do herself let alone what she wanted from Joey.

"Oh God, me mam'll go spare. The only thing I've ever done right in her eyes is not have children." She broke the silence.

"I'm not sure what my mam will make of it. Coming on top of everything else she'll never be out of the confession box." Joey was trying to imagine Nellie's reaction.

"Do you want to get married?" Joey spoke without thinking.

"What? Joey, have you seriously lost the plot? Anyway you want me done for bigamy?" Martina's eyes were wide with shock.

"Aren't you divorced? I thought you'd been apart for years?"

"We have, just never got round to it I suppose. I mean it's just a formality, it makes no odds to me, he's the one with kids, so I always assumed that he'd put in for it when he wanted to."

Joey had to laugh. "I can just picture me mam's face, when I tell her you're a married woman."

Martina managed a weak smile. "Not in the eyes of the church. Don't forget he was a proddy and we had a registry office wedding."

"St George's Hall?"

"Yeah. August 1976."

"When did you move out?"

"March 81."

Joey pulled her into his lap, instinctively placing a hand on her stomach. A gesture that Martina took note of, and which soothed her fractionally. She hadn't missed the 'we' in the 'what have we done' either. If it had been Tom it would have been a 'what have you done'. He would have accepted no responsibility whatsoever. She gave a deep sigh, and lay back against him. "I'm sorry Joey. I am really. I didn't mean for this to happen."

He frowned. "Why should you be sorry? It's as much my doing as yours. I didn't mean this to happen either, but it has and well, we'll deal with it won't we? I mean we've got two places to live for a start. Lots of people starting families have nowhere."

"I'm not moving into Kelsall Street Joey." A look of horror crossed her face, causing Joey to throw his head back and burst out laughing.

"No I didn't mean that. I meant here and Hope Place. I was gonna show you this the other day, but I got sidetracked." He gave her a shy smile, and reached for his jacket. "Here." He took an envelope from his pocket and handed it to her.

She extracted the letter and read it. "Expanding already? You don't waste much time." She thought for a moment. "Is that all he wanted for the whole freehold property apart from the top floor, and the buy back on your lease?"

"Ah, suspicious lady." He did look a little guilty.

"Joey?"

"Well I paid a small cash premium, same again."

"Still remarkably cheap." She frowned, just how much cash did he keep laying about, and what exactly did he do to get it? And now she was carrying his baby.

"Like you said about upstairs he wanted rid. He hadn't managed to sell any of the other flats. So as the flats fall vacant I won't rent them out, then I'll turn it back into one house. It needs a hell of a lot doing to it, but it'd make a fantastic family home. The gardens are, well I know they're in a state, but there's plenty of space. And there's the outbuildings, the old coach house, make a great garage for me Jag. And in the meantime there's plenty of room here."

He had an enthusiasm about him that Martina found quite endearing, although marriage to Joey Boswell? That was taking things too far. She didn't even want to live with him. And just how many children was he thinking of? She sighed again. It had all been going so well. No pressure, no real expectations, no grief. Just what she'd needed. And now, this had to happen. Life simply wasn't fair.

She contented herself with, "let's not rush into anything Joey. We need to take things as they come."

"Course sweetheart." Joey tightened his grip on her, pressing her closer to him, thankful that she couldn't see the expression he knew was on his face, for despite his confident words, and the miniscule bit of him that welcomed the outcome, this wasn't exactly what he'd been really hoping for either.

 **This brings the first part of this au to a finish. Though the next is written I need to spend a bit of time checking the references from series 5 (TV numbering), and getting it edited. I could never get to grips with the cast changes so I've barely watched 5-7 and my hc is written with the original cast in mind.**


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